Single… Why????

Why are so many of us still single? It doesn’t matter how old we are, how many times you have been married, we are single right now in this moment.  In my experience,  from people I have known and what has been done to me… I feel that people are not able to commit fully to one human being. They seem to have one foot in the relationship and one foot out. Because you know just maybe there could be somebody that might come along that appears to have greener grass than what you have in front of you. Really?? How about watering the grass that’s right in front of you.  how about nurturing that so that it can become all you  wanted it to be or could even imagine. When you can’t fully commit or work on the relationship that you’re in, then really is it going to go anywhere? I say no, it will eventually fizzle out.  one of you will end up cheating on the other, I know that all too well. I think it’s hard to find 2 people fully committed in a relationship. One usually is and the other is kinda halfway there,  as the other foot is dangling outside of the relationship.

Relationships take work. Whether you’re married or not, you are in a relationship with someone. You don’t have to be living with them but if you are dating and if you’ve dated for quite a while you are in a committed relationship. Sneaking around talking to other women on an intimate level is not being fully committed. If you can’t be that with the person you are with… then stop and think… reflect. am I in the right relationship?  How do I really feel about this person?   Or, what can I do to make this better?  I see so many relationships just thrown away because one or both people don’t want to take the time to work on it, to talk,  communicate.

I realize when you have been married to someone for a very long time or just even in a relationship with someone for a very long time, things can get stagnant. You get into a routine you do the same things all the time… that is when you need to change things up. You have to be able to recognize when your relationship is in that place. So change it up, go eat somewhere different, take a weekend road trip, do something you haven’t done in a long time.  think about what you did when you first met.  what made you happy, what was exciting. Bring more passion back into the bedroom. There are so many things you can do without dissolving the relationship, before you start  cheating on your partner that you supposedly still love but but yet you are looking for some other kind of excitement to keep you going. Find the excitement with the person you’re with now. And sometimes yes, relationships need to end but I still think as a society we do not put enough time and effort into the person that we are with. We let it go.  We just say, “oh there’s gotta be something better out there.”  Take the time working with what is right in front of you, because the grass is only greener where you water it. 

Don’t be the sprinkler that is watering a bunch of different plants. Be the hose that’s directly on the one in front of you,  and grow together :))

Keep hiking to the top,

Kimberly Rae

The Dance Lesson

cover for fb

The twang and the electric sound of the country music hits my ears as I walked into the night club.  I was by myself, going to meet an old high school friend that invited me to come learn the West Coast Swing.  I love to dance, so it was obvious I would say yes. (God knew that)  What I didn’t know, is how much I was going to learn on this fine Saturday evening.

My friend paired me up with a male friend  of hers so I would have a partner.  As I walked on to the dance floor I assumed I would only be learning a new dance.  But God knew, there was a part of my past that I had not settled with.  I  loosely took his hand, the music started I was in my element and I felt great!!  As he spun me around…. There she was.  The woman who so cunningly did her best to lure my past relationship away from me.  The woman I knew, who I entertained in my home.  A woman who played the game; took him for a while and then spit him back out.  The woman who aided and abetted in breaking my heart into so many pieces that I thought I would never be able to put them back together.  As our eyes locked, I froze. Everything stopped for that moment.  But the beat goes on, as Nancy Sinatra would say.  And so did I:)

Being that I am not a vengeful person, I never said anything to her 3 and half years ago, I just let it go.  I said plenty to him, but that is another story:)  And then I think, maybe I should have.  But as I looked at her and watched her through the evening, I knew that I was so much better off.  My life was rich in love, joy, peace….   I can wake up every morning with a smile, that is genuine.  I’m happy with me:)

This dance lesson helped me put so many things into perspective.  I realized I do not want to have the love I had for him with anyone else.  I fell so deep in love with him, that I lost who I was which made the hurt even more painful.  I will love again. I didn’t let it destroy me.

God has his ways of reaching us and helping us to the next step so we are open to more of his blessings.  I had a very enjoyable evening.  I met new people, and danced with a kick in my step knowing, I am on the right path.

I leave you with some words of wisdom from someone who has lived it:)

“Memories are good. But sometimes a memory is so powerful that we get stuck in it… frozen in a minute.” ~KG~

Keep Hiking to the Top,

Faith in What’s to Come

They say they built the train tracks between the Alps and Venice before there was a train to use them.  They just knew that it would come…

I hiked to the top of a very steep trail just to find ladybugs that inhabit the area.  As I reached the top, I was looking at a wide open field with tall grasses and flowering weeds… beautiful in their own right. But I couldn’t find a one. Not one lady bug.  The beauty in front of me was astounding.  I laid down and looked up at the puffy white clouds that seemed to move their way around the sun.  I closed my eyes and took it all in.  My mind free to flow and think.  When I opened my eyes, there were lady bugs all around me.  ~When we aren’t looking, the most amazing things are attracted to us~

I am not looking.  I have spent the last 4 years getting to know me again.  I have embraced my singleness… although there is the idea of someone to share my life with.

So… I  slowly tore down the wall that  was protecting my heart. It was time.  I opened up my heart once again.  I shared intimate moments of my life.  I opened my soul and became vulnerable to his kindness.  But I soon realized, I was just his muse.  Someone to fill a void in a seemingly happy life. (so he says)   And so the wall goes back up again… this time it is made of brick. It will soften in time:)  So I continue to live my life and wait… patiently, for the right one.  When he enters my path – I’ll know.  I’ll just know… he’s the one.

All I want is to be someone’s SOMEONE… Their only SOMEONE:)  Not just a fleeting moment in someone else’s existence. I am worth more than that.

I know my day will come. The train may not be here yet, But I have FAITH… it will come:)

As always,  Keep hiking to the top!

Kimberly Rae

Just Friends

The sweet smell of cinnamon and sugar engulf the small space I call my writing corner. I miss having an office.  The scent of a candle can bring back memories, brighten up a mood, or take you to another place where no one can find you.  I am going to another place.  In my mind anyway.

There are days I understand life and all that it gives and others where it just doesn’t make sense.  This is a “doesn’t make sense”  kind of day.

It was my birthday yesterday.  Even though I was overpowered with birthday wishes, there was one I didn’t get.  One I couldn’t or wasn’t allowed to get.

Why can’t men and women just be friends?  I have always had male friends; married, with a girlfriend, didn’t matter.  I had no romantic interest in them.  They were just great friends.  But society and insecure women don’t see it that way.  If they have someone in their life you can’t be talking with them.  WHY NOT???  I’m not trying to take them from who they have.  I would never do that.  I’ve been on the other of that.  It is so nice talking to a man.  They don’t judge you, criticize you, they say it like is and you don’t have to second guess them.  Amazing!!!

That pit in your stomach, the “I don’t feel like eating,”  the emptiness in your heart is all that I am feeling right now.  I had to give my friend up.  He can no longer talk to me, email me, or call me.  Society has deemed it isn’t right.  I have known him since college.  I know people come and go in our lives, but I will miss him.  I do miss him… and he misses me.   But I do understand. His happiness is more important to me.  I know we will always be friends in our hearts.

Always hiking to the top,

Kimberly Rae

A Love So True

It is officially November, Halloween has come and gone, my uncarved pumpkins remain outside my door to remind me that it is Fall, and the Christmas movies have begun to show up on the various channels that engulf our T.V’s.  And yes…  I am still single.  I am not saying that as if it is a bad thing.  I thoroughly enjoy my life and am very happy.  But there is still the idea of a man; someone to share my already happy life with:)

So many people have asked me, “What are you looking for?”  “What do you want?”

I always thought I knew exactly what I wanted in a relationship, but after talking with a long-lost friend from college, I have reassessed my wants.  I don’t like using the word “wants”   It’s more like a feeling.  It is the way I perceive love.  Some may say I am a hopeless romantic, (I am)  and my take on love is only in fairy tales.  But, I do not agree.

My take on a TRUE LOVE:

I want love, not the comfortable, safe kind.  I want extraordinary, passionate, everything is in sync love.  Where their touch electrifies my soul. When he touches my hand, my whole body quivers. Where the simplest of gestures bring a smile to my face.  When what I want most in the world, (and this is it,) adds to my happiness.  Love isn’t a fairy tale if it’s TRUE.  

So, I will keep praying,and  keep the faith, that God has someone like this for me.  I know he is out there.  He just hasn’t found me yet:)

My words of wisdom for today:  Hold out for what you truly want in life.  Don’t settle.  Love yourself first, so you can give that true love to someone else:)

Be happy in life!!

Keep hiking to the top!

Kimberly Rae

Here’s What I Know For Sure…

I know that we have to create our own happiness and let others add to it.

I know that love in it’s purest form is all I need.

I know it isn’t our job to fix people; but to encourage and inspire.

I know that life can beat me down, but it’s how I get up and face it, that strengthens my character.

I know people come and go in my life, but I have learned something from each one of them, and I thank them for that.

I know that men and women can be just friends – and that is okay:)

I know that my life will never change unless I do something I have never done.

I know that living in the moment allows me to see things I might have missed.

I know  that a rose bud that has just opened is the most fragrant as is a new relationship  just beginning to bloom.

I know my children are the best part of me. I am so proud of who they have become.

I know the pain that comes from a love lost and the renewed person that comes from it.

I know that a few good friends out way many.

I know the beauty of the mountains and the quiet of the slow moving stream.

I know God’s love and that he believes in me.

I know that I’m happy and I love my life.

I know the depth of my soul is only as deep as the love I have for myself.

I know that true beauty lies within, not in the cover.

What I do know for sure is every ending has a new beginning – so no  matter where you are at in the circle of life; beginning, middle, or end, make it the best and truly live in each moment that crosses your path.

 

The Journey is the Reward!

Keep hiking to the top.

Kimberly Rae

The Unspoken Words are Felt the Most

Did you every say or do something you wish you could take back?  That impulsive thought, action, that once given and received cannot be retrieved. Why do we do that?  Actually why do I do that?  I keep saying I won’t do that again.  I will give it a day before I respond or react.  But I don’t.  I’m not talking about something that would hurt someone or belittle them.  No… These are words of love and kindness that were not taken or interrupted correctly by the recipient.  Their response to me was like a knife being jabbed into my stomach and twisted  around. It reminded me of a time I don’t care to remember.   And then you begin to over think it and interrupt it many ways;  which is so asinine.   Words are just words; without action behind them, they don’t mean much.  But when you are a few thousand miles away, you find yourself attaching to every word, because that is all you have.

Being single for 3 years, has put me in a vulnerable place.  I long for that stimulating conversation with a male friend.  And I mean a friend.  Reconnecting with my old friend has helped me see some things in my life from a different perspective.  It has helped me let go of some things I didn’t realize I was holding on to.  So it saddens me that I may have lost this friend due to misinterpretation using social media.  But you know what…  If  we never speak again, I will always remember this past week.  He opened my eyes and helped rekindle my inner spirit and for that, I am grateful.  Sometimes people step into our lives for just a short while to get you on your new path.   I know I touched his life as well:)

 

“If  unspoken words are felt, then you have connected.”  ~ Kimberly Rae

 

Keep hiking to the top!

Kimberly Rae

 

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