Live Your Passion

​The message at church today was very powerful and insightful for me. I’ve had a dream that when I retire which won’t be too much longer🙂🙂 that I want to write. I want to share my story, I want to inspire people in many different ways.  When I started writing my blog 5 years ago through my hurt and pain, I expressed my true feelings from my heart.  It was healing for me and for others. Certain people in my life would tell me that I wasn’t a writer.   I continued to write anyway. We all have different styles of writing and I feel like I reached a lot of people writing from the heart.  I helped others see that they could get to the other side… smile again and live their life like I am now.  I always tell my students we all have a story to tell. And how we tell it is up to us… through writing, through speaking, or any way we can reach people.  But if we can Inspire others as I feel I have, then keep on.   I believe God put me on this path 5 years ago. I believe he will continue to guide me. I am a teacher. I will always be a teacher even when I retire. I just may be doing it in a different way.  Follow what you’re passionate  about.  I know I am.😊❤✏

Peace and Love 

Kimberly Rae

Patience!!

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“Things come to us not when we want them, but when we are ready.”

Patience is a virtue…so they say.   I’m not sure that was passed down through my genetic makeup.  Oh, I suppose there is some swishing around in there somewhere.  It does come out now and then.  But today… it has taken a holiday, and I’m not sure when it’s returning.

I do my best each morning to wake up with a grateful heart, a smile on my face, and the motivation to make it a great day!!!  But today, and maybe a little yesterday… It seems to have escaped me.  I seem to be standing at a huge fork in the road.  My journey has stalled; taken a rest… I don’t know, but I’m stuck; frozen at a point in my life where I should be confident and moving forward.

My summer took me to places I didn’t think I would ever see.   I climbed the highest peak in Oahu.  I swam in the bluest water you have ever seen.  I tasted food beyond my wildest imagination… I was living and loving my life.  But…as wonderful as my trips were… I didn’t have anyone to share it with.  I wanted to be sitting on Sunset beach with that special person in my life.  I wanted to laugh and discover with them.  I wanted someone’s shoulder to lean on, on the long flight home.   After 5 years of being single, is God saying I am still not ready?? Does Karma really exist?  I keep asking myself if I have done something not to deserve a good man in my life.  I keep asking God, what else am I supposed to learn?

I’ve grown to love myself and to be happy with just me.  The scar I wear proudly from my last relationship… remains just that… a Scar.  It has healed over and I have moved forward.  I’m ready!!! So I think.

So what else God??  Are you still trying to teach me about patience?  I know I’ve stumbled a bit over the past 5 years, but I’m still here; wishing and wanting to share my life with the person you have waiting for me; or maybe there isn’t someone.  Maybe I am just supposed to embrace being single and that’s how it’s going to be.

So give me that little nudge. Push me in the right direction.  You may need to hold my hand at first, but I’ll keep moving forward, because I have never lost my faith in YOU.

As always… Keep hiking to the top!!!

Kimberly Rae

 

 

 

 

The Gift of Life

I set out on a journey last week not a journey I expected to take.  A long seven hour drive to California; San Diego to be exact. A drive I wish I didn’t have to make by myself.

You raise your children hoping that they will do good in the world, that they will respect others and add happiness to peoples lives. As parents we hope that kicks in sometime as they become young adults or even before. My son proved that today.

The dampness in the air becomes more apparent as I reach the coast. I have to ask myself, is he scared? Am I scared? I’m sure yes, he must be a little. And as his mother, I am a little anxious. But I’m so proud, so very proud of the decision my son made to donate his kidney to his cousin to save his life.

As I hang out in the spa  (surgical preparation area) with my son and my ex in laws, I feel a sense of loneliness just a bit. I wish there was someone there for me, to hold my hand, put their arm around me, reassuring me that all will be well and for a little support🙂. I stand there holding his hand, kissing his forehead as they wheel him off. I’m so proud.  I started to cry but I feel a sense of calm and peace about me. I know God has his hands upon both boys and the amazing surgeons performing both operations.

I pull out my adult coloring book and the colors,  seafoam green, grey, and mustard yellow, the colors that I seem to be attracted to as of late. I intently focus on the design and the pattern I’m creating.  Time is not moving very quickly.

It has now been three and a half hours and I find myself unable to choose the next color.  I’m at a stopping point I guess. I sit quietly watching the other people in the room knowing they are waiting  for their loved one as well.

I’m the only one  waiting for the surgeon. I chose not to leave. Within a few minutes the surgeon comes out,  he spots me.  He comes right over, takes my hand and says the surgery went very well and that my son was in recovery. I then asked about his cousin, he so gallantly replied,  the gift of life your son gave him,  is now being transplanted so he can live a fulfilling life.  I started crying, sitting there all by myself, just crying out of sheer joy and happiness.

It was a very emotional day for everyone. Both boys are doing great. The recipient is responding well to his new kidney, his new gift of life. He and his family now can look forward to many many more wonderful moments together. Thank you to my son. Such a selfless act, I could not be more proud as a mom🙂

The connection between both boys now will be much deeper than any of us could ever imagine.  Both boys will see life through a different lens, with a different perspective and appreciate things so much more. We should all see it that way. We don’t need to be a living doner  to look at life the way they do.

Keep smiling… life is good!!

Kimberly Rae

 

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A New Journey!

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“One moment she was alone and lost… and 4 years later she emerges, anew.”

I have decided to take a different path with my blogs.  I have healed and moved on from my very painful relationship.  My blogging helped me to move on.  Sharing my raw feelings helped me deal with life.  Not that I won’t stumble… I am only human:)  But life, my life has moved on.

After everything I have been through I look at myself as a tight rope walker.  Because the tight rope walker is the one who doesn’t need a safety net.  He can move on with his life without someone in it.  And that is just what I did.  My faith is all that I needed and need to keep moving forward.

I love to write about my discoveries, whether they be about life or the many trails that I happen upon and learn from.

I am fortunate enough to live in a state that allows me to hike all year round.  The desert is beautiful in it’s own right.  You just have to see it and sometimes look for it.  I get to see this mountain everyday.  I have hiked to the top and all through it.  And just yesterday, I discovered by accident a new trail behind this amazing, majestic mountain.  You never know what you are going to find, on the trail or in life.  It is how you look at it that makes the difference.  I choose to see the beauty in what is in front of me.  To some, they will only see ugly, prickly cactus and a ground full of dirt and sand.  But when you open your eyes, and I mean really open your eyes… You see so much more.

That is how I view life.  My eyes are wide open and I choose to enjoy the moments put in front of me and see the desert in all of it finery as a gift from God.

So I challenge you… open your eyes and see, really see, what is in front of you.

The peace and joy I get from wandering these desert trails only remind me of how grateful I am to be alive, to enjoy the trails I have been on, and the many more I will explore!

Enjoy my view below:)

As always…. Keep Hiking to the Top,

Kimberly Rae

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A New Chapter…

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“We attain freedom as we let go of whatever does not reflect our magnificence.” ~Alan Cohen

I wake slowly from a very deep sleep. The sound of the clock mimics my heart as it beats steadily. For a brief moment I realize this is  the same clock that sounded over and over in my head, four years ago when my heart was bleeding and in pieces on the floor.  A puzzle, I thought, that could never be put back together.  ergo… the beginning of my blogs.  Or should I say… the beginning of my healing.  It seems like a lifetime ago.

I have stumbled, tripped, even fallen, but I always got back up.  I learned something new about ME every time I veered off the path.

I learned that the scars of betrayal will always be with you.  It is how you rise above it that will make or break your journey.

I learned that life isn’t always fair.  It just isn’t!!

I learned that I Am ENOUGH!

I learned that volunteering and helping others is something I enjoy and has helped me to heal.

I learned to keep the good memories with me and if they bring a tear to my eye… it’s okay too:)

I learned to have no regrets.  My time spent with him brought me to where I am today:)

I learned to love myself

I learned that only I can make myself happy.  My happiness does not depend on others.

I can honestly say, that I am real and genuine.  I smile a lot and do my best to bring joy into other’s lives which in turn brings a smile to mine:)

But… I could not have done any of this without my faith and trust in God.  He is my Rock.  I believe he has great things in store for me this coming year.  The restlessness inside me, tells me there is change in the air.  God must be moving a few mountains for me… because here I come!!!!!

As always,

Keep Hiking to the Top,

Kimberly Rae

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The Handkerchief

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The handkerchief symbolizes a time that no longer exists. A simpler time. A time where commitment was just natural. A period of time when you worked things out, when you communicated, when you were there for each other.  A time, when the tears began to flow, that special person would hand you their handkerchief to blot your eyes from the tears that would not stop streaming down your face. It represented compassion and caring and “I’m here for you.”

Something as simple as a handkerchief could say so much…  as in,  “I LOVE YOU”

Where is the handkerchief today??

I don’t want the text or the email. I want the hand attached to the handkerchief, looking at me face to face wiping my tears if need be, and reassuring me it’s going to be alright. I want to see the compassion, the love and the caring in someone’s eyes, not  words in an email; they have no voice.

Bring back the handkerchief because the world is becoming a lonely place without it🙂

Living life!!

Kimberly Rae

Single… Why????

Why are so many of us still single? It doesn’t matter how old we are, how many times you have been married, we are single right now in this moment.  In my experience,  from people I have known and what has been done to me… I feel that people are not able to commit fully to one human being. They seem to have one foot in the relationship and one foot out. Because you know just maybe there could be somebody that might come along that appears to have greener grass than what you have in front of you. Really?? How about watering the grass that’s right in front of you.  how about nurturing that so that it can become all you  wanted it to be or could even imagine. When you can’t fully commit or work on the relationship that you’re in, then really is it going to go anywhere? I say no, it will eventually fizzle out.  one of you will end up cheating on the other, I know that all too well. I think it’s hard to find 2 people fully committed in a relationship. One usually is and the other is kinda halfway there,  as the other foot is dangling outside of the relationship.

Relationships take work. Whether you’re married or not, you are in a relationship with someone. You don’t have to be living with them but if you are dating and if you’ve dated for quite a while you are in a committed relationship. Sneaking around talking to other women on an intimate level is not being fully committed. If you can’t be that with the person you are with… then stop and think… reflect. am I in the right relationship?  How do I really feel about this person?   Or, what can I do to make this better?  I see so many relationships just thrown away because one or both people don’t want to take the time to work on it, to talk,  communicate.

I realize when you have been married to someone for a very long time or just even in a relationship with someone for a very long time, things can get stagnant. You get into a routine you do the same things all the time… that is when you need to change things up. You have to be able to recognize when your relationship is in that place. So change it up, go eat somewhere different, take a weekend road trip, do something you haven’t done in a long time.  think about what you did when you first met.  what made you happy, what was exciting. Bring more passion back into the bedroom. There are so many things you can do without dissolving the relationship, before you start  cheating on your partner that you supposedly still love but but yet you are looking for some other kind of excitement to keep you going. Find the excitement with the person you’re with now. And sometimes yes, relationships need to end but I still think as a society we do not put enough time and effort into the person that we are with. We let it go.  We just say, “oh there’s gotta be something better out there.”  Take the time working with what is right in front of you, because the grass is only greener where you water it. 

Don’t be the sprinkler that is watering a bunch of different plants. Be the hose that’s directly on the one in front of you,  and grow together :))

Keep hiking to the top,

Kimberly Rae