Recycling the Pain

My hand is shaking and my heart is pounding, the tears are rolling down my cheeks.  I take a deep breath and let it out to help calm my shaking body.  The scented lavender candle is not doing much to bring peace to my present existence.

At this very moment, I feel as if I’m stuck in the wax, flailing in the ocean water without a glimmer of light in sight.  I know I won’t stay there long; my faith in God is too strong.  But now, I’m being pulled back into the nastiness of the lies and deceit.   Why?

Someone said to me the other day that “nice guys always finish last.”  I didn’t agree with him. I told him to look at the positive things in every situation; look at the glass half full not half empty; learn from your pain.

I  felt like that for a brief moment.  Only briefly – I won’t let the ocean waves take me away.  I’m too strong for that.

We all take a few steps back (Or recycle as Melodie Beatie would say) especially on the road to healing our pain. I guess today was my recycle day.  I didn’t seek it nor want it.  It was just thrown at me out of nowhere.  God must be sending me a message or it’s the Devil just being him.

The sad thing is – I let this get to me.   I am upset at myself for letting it try to sink me.  BUT…



Healing the pain is a process.  There are days we just have to fight for the peace and solace we so deserve.  Keep swimming, keep dancing, keep smiling.  The light is always there.

“I can do anything through Christ”   That is what keeps me going.  It will for you too!

Kimberly Rae

4 thoughts on “Recycling the Pain

  1. Kim,
    Its the devil doing what he does best, and its “me” opening the door for the evil to enter. The waves are strong, but God has blessed you with his grace, peace and love and you are right, you are stronger than the waves!
    You are a beautiful woman, stay strong and keep your faith, focus on Gods bigger plan for your life.


    1. Thank you Cupcake. For some reason I just keep focusing on the hurt that has been brought upon me again. I really don’t want to but the Devil just slithers in and the thoughts get going. I have prayed hard today. You are right I need to focus on the Gods bigger plan:)

      Thank you for your kind response:)

      Kimberly Rae

  2. Frank

    I totally agree with what cupcake has mentioned.
    I would be willing to add….simply “rest in the vine”. Stop fighting Jesus is the vine, you are just a branch. Rest in him. Fear not he keeps every promise. Every thing he says he will do, he does. Though it may not come in a suit of clothes you may be looking for. Generally if your not getting what u asked of him….it’s only because he is sending something much better your way.
    Hold your hhead high and step off stage as your earlier post suggested. Rest, calm.

  3. Frank,
    I do know about “resting in the vine” And maybe I am fighting Jesus. I don’t feel that I am. I get lost in the pain sometimes. I know If I would have listened to him months ago, this wouldn’t be happening. I let it happen. But when you love someone that much, it’s hard to let that last tie go:) I realized last night that if his eyes can focus on someone else that quickly, It’s time to cut the last tie. Let him find his happiness, but it may not be in the form he thinks either. So we both must trust in the Lord. Because his plan is much better than we could ever imagin:)

    Thank you Frank,

    Kimberly Rae
    Future author and presenter ^~

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