When life happens and you don’t know if you are coming or going – when the paverbial knife punctures your heart over and over, you begin to read every self-help book, you search the internet, and you even read the Bible; hoping to find the answer to why you’re climbing that damn mountain again.
Over the past 8 months, I think I have read every one of them. I am sure I could teach a class on setting boundaries, Co-Dependancy, and finding yourself. The only book though that has led me on my new journey with confidence and hope is the Holy Bible. I know God thought I needed to hone my hiking skills so he put me back on that mountain to teach me something that I was too stubborn to see. I’ve been on the mountain for quite a while now. I know I am but a branch on his vine and I am nourished daily by his words.
He’s been preparing me for today. It wasn’t easy, but I knew I was almost to the top and I had to be strong.
I didn’t get to say goodbye to the man I have loved unconditionally and whole heartedly for the past 6 years today. He quietly slithered out with all of his belongings. The keys no longer hang on the hook, his shoes no longer by the door, the closet is empty; not even a note, or a word of thanks.
Tears began to roll down my saddened face, when I remembered a night last week. He came into my room and slid into bed with me. He held me so tenderly and close. My heart was warmed and I felt safe in his arms. But I knew in my heart he was saying goodbye. I relished in the closeness and slept all night in his arms. God spoke to me then. I knew he was moving on.
I’ve walked through the fire, I’ve dodged the snakes, the pot holes I did fall into, but I got up and kept the pace. I’ve reached the top, so what’s the prize? The beginning of a brand new life.
The books are still on the shelf behind me, but the Bible always sits right next to me. I’m on solid ground and that is a great place to be:)
“But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward. in Christ Jesus” Philippians 3:14
3 thoughts on “Climbing the Mountain”
Final closure only happens when it happens. There is an acceptance that things are just the way they are. No amount of hoping and wishing and looking back will change what is and what will be. Sometimes we share only a season with someone and time will allow us to remember the sweet times and let the hurtful times fade away. That is life and that is love and that is God’s grace. Thank you Kim for reminding us that we’re all only human and that God teaches us about his unconditional love through the people he puts in our lives….and the people who are left behind. You have grown. Peace to you and your tender heart.
Thank you Denny for your heartfelt words. God’s Grace is upon me and I have grown. A new day begins:)
Remarkable reading, moving words that bring to life the emotions of a
I sometimes struggle with why as Christains there is much suffering in our lives.
However, I never once doubted God wasnt there seeing me through it all.
Keep the faith Kim 🙂