I recently found some letters my father wrote my mother when he was in college; 1953 to be exact. My father passed away a year and a half ago, so finding these were special to me. As I read letter after letter, I could see without a doubt how much in love he was with my mother. He made sacrifices to ensure her happiness. And was always looking out for her. His love just poured out in his words and on the page. I never knew this growing up and I saw a side of my father I didn’t know; A romantic, vulnerable side. I saw a lot of myself.
I’ve been in love and have truly given all of my self to a few people in my life. But there has only been one man who was genuinely, unconditionally in love with me. He would have walked through fire for me. I found all of his letters as I was going through my old trunk. They mimicked my father’s letters to my mother. His love for me oozed from the ink on to the many pages he wrote to me. How lucky I was 30 years ago to have experienced such a love so true.
So…how do we know if we are truly in love with someone? You can tell anyone you love them but that doesn’t mean you are in love. Is there a true definition of being in love? Good question. I think we all have our own interpretations. I will share with you what I have found from my experience.
Some might say being in love is when your stomach has butterfly’s 24/7 and you can’t stand to be away from the person you are with for a second. Those are great feelings but really only lend themselves to lust and infatuation. Both might have a shelf life of 2 – 3 months at best. There is no depth to the relationship and it soon fizzles out.
When you are willing to sacrifice and compromise; when adding to their happiness is a natural act; when being with that person is more important than life itself, and the intimacy both physical and emotionally are at the forefront of this great and wonderful relationship, we have the beginnings of being in love and a longer, lasting relationship; some lasting a lifetime.
Being in love is something not everyone can experience. They are not capable of giving all of themselves; they can’t give up that control or be that vulnerable. If you are truly in love you don’t feel boxed in or controlled by anything or anyone. It is a natural free feeling. I felt that reading the letters from both my father and my former fiance. So, let go and let yourself truly fall in love.
The hopeless romantic in me says, we should all be lucky enough to be in love at least once.
So… with letters in hand, I retire to my bedroom to get lost in a love from long ago.
Thank you MF and Dad:)