Your Life is Waiting!

I woke up this morning feeling angry conflicted and confused.  “Why?” I thought.  Why can’t I just wake up with feelings of joy and happiness every morning?  As I calmed my emotions, I realized I was still healing and the early morning is when my defenses are down and I am most vulnerable to the feelings that are haunting me.  These are obviously the feelings I/we  try to avoid, therefore the feelings we should be addressing.

Avoidance is part of that denial stage some of us stay in for a while.  We can fool ourselves and justify our thinking so we don’t have to confront those feelings and emotions that seem to be plaguing us.

So – I took a stand this morning and confronted my anger.  Confronting anything or anyone in life is never easy.  We have to open ourselves up to that vulnerable side we so often hide from.  If we don’t, our issues, problems, and the many situations in our life will never be resolved; just shoved under the carpet as we pretend they don’t exist; and we wonder why we are not happy.  We settle for being content and we miss out on what we truly want in life.

The healing process is a strange one.  It may put you in situations you didn’t expect which in turn ignite new feelings that you haven’t had in a while; hence the confusion because you like the feeling but you are not sure where it is going to take you.  We need to start trusting our instincts and ourselves again so we are open to the people and situations God puts in our life as well as letting go so we can move on.

I am done with the anger.  That is the past now.  As I take hold of the new phase in my life, I’m feeling happy and a bit conflicted all at the same time; new emotions to wrestle with and understand.  But I know what I want in life and that is a great place to start.

Have you asked yourself what you really want in life?  If so… what actions are you taking to get there?


Kimberly Rae

2 thoughts on “Your Life is Waiting!

  1. I concur; the mornings are the most difficult. Anger derives from events and circumstances beyond our control. It can be someone or something that takes advantage of us. Possibly it could be something you said or did and can’t take back. How about the loss of someone or something in your life that you love? Anger also can come from someone or something that is different in someway that you feel is unacceptable. All these scenarios and even combinations of these can give birth to anger. The serum for anger is “Forgiveness.” It’s easy to ask forgiveness from God because we know of his mercy and grace, but it is difficult for us to forgive those whom have hurt us or even harder to forgive ourselves. Jesus puts forgiveness right next to our most basic need, food, in the Lord’s Prayer. I try to forgive others, but find anger, hurt, pain, separation, and loneliness are still inside me. God desires to answer our cries for help but expects us to use Him, not ourselves.

    This is a mill stone always hanging around my neck. The weight is unbearable but I have been stubborn to think that I have to deal with it all alone. I have looked to others for help and have been ignored, abandoned, or deemed unimportant. God is willing to let me carry this weight as long as I want to manage it on my own. As soon as I am willing to hand it over to Jesus, He is more than willing to carry it for me and dispose of it according to our God’s will. I confess that I have a rebellious nature. Forgiving has to be an everyday event for me. As I continue to place the causes of my anger into Jesus open hands and trust in Him daily, I find my sadness, pain, bitterness, loneliness, and anger slowly evaporating. Someday when I no longer remember my pain and anger, I will know that I have truly forgiven.

    1. Burton,

      Forgiveness is the tonic for the anger we feel. I have forgiven. I just feel I didn’t get to have closure. May he be happy and enjoy his life.
      God has answered my cries for help. I am in a great place in my life. Persuing something new has put a smile on my face and joy in my heart.


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