Well, I think the wound just broke open today. This is real life kids. Let me tell you. Where did this day come from? I have done fantastic! Why do I feel so lonely? I want the fantastic days back!!! HELP

I miss him. WHAT? Yes, I know. WHY? I have had this overwhelming feeling of “I want to be with him” all day long. I can’t see myself with anyone else but him. I have accepted that he is with another woman. Knowing what I know about her, I don’t understand. I’m sure she isn’t a bad person but what was wrong with me? Or what is wrong with me? I can’t even get an online date. What am I doing wrong? I just wish some brave man would tell me. I promise I wouldn’t bite their head off. The “B” word doesn’t fit my personality.

The self-esteem is in the toilet today. I am mad that my thoughts have slipped back into this victim role I have put myself in. I am not a victim. (I have to keep telling myself that or I will go nuts) Now I just have to believe it.

I’ve cried a lot today. And maybe it’s just those female hormones at work and playing tricks on my psyche. Oh wait, do I have any hormones left? The one that produces tears is in full swing. Is there a happy hormone? or is that just in a pill? No pills for me. I have to find the big H all by myself.