I was inundated with love stories this past weekend. Not intentionally. The opportunities just presented themselves and I took advantage. I find I gravitate to books and movies that are about true love when I don’t have that special someone in my life. How about you? That longing and desire to have someone to share your life with can be overpowering at times. So I live vicariously through the books and movies that I seek out and make them a part of my life.
I had the awesome fortune of seeing Madam Butterfly this past weekend. I knew the story, but had never seen it on stage. The love Miss Butterfly had for her army man was so deep and true, only to be crushed by him. He used her and played on her emotions. She took her life because she couldn’t take the pain of not having him. It was written in 1906. Emotions are still being played with and hearts are continually broken. So that hasn’t changed in a 105 years.
Has it really taken a 105 years to realize that honesty is lacking in relationships today? If we can’t be honest with our husband/partner about how we feel, what we are thinking, then someone is bound to get hurt. Withholding information from the one we say we love is not being honest with ourselves or them. You pretend to feel and act a certain way while you are deceiving the one that thinks you love them. I look back on my relationship and see it should have ended a few years ago. But he continued to pretend everything was great while withholding what he really felt. It makes me mad, that I didn’t get a chance to know why or work things out. He said he loved me but cheated and went on to another woman without explaining. That still hurts. But at this point, it doesn’t really matter anymore. He’s the one who cheated himself.
I took myself to see the move The Descendants. It is about a man who lost his wife to an accident, but who was also cheating on him due to his lack of communication and honesty with her. So going out and being unfaithful is okay because your spouse isn’t meeting your needs? I think not. Are we so busy that we cannot spend time and talk to the people we love? Stop hiding behind a facade that is only digging a deeper hole for you to get lost in.
So what does it all come down to; lack of communication which turns into deceiving the other. Therefore relationships break up, hearts are broken, and we don’t know what happened. We are letting our fear control our lives. Speak your mind. Don’t hold it all in and then just walk out. I know, easier said than done. I could have said things that I didn’t because of fear. The fear of losing him. But I would have lost him on my terms and not been hurt by his indiscretions.
Sometimes life doesn’t want to give you something you want, not because you don’t deserve it but because you deserve more. I see now I deserve more and so do you!
Be with someone who knows exactly what they have when they have you. Not someone who will realize it when they’ve lost you. It’s sad when they look at you and say, “I lost the best thing that ever happened to me. And now I can’t have you anymore.” And we say, “No, you can’t have me anymore.” Those will be some of the hardest words to come out of your mouth. You have to be strong. I cried. But I knew how much he had deceived me and I couldn’t let him back in to my life; and neither can you. I know God was with me on that one. I don’t know where I got the strength to say no. I look at where I’m at now; I know I made the right decision. And so will you:)
I leave you with this:
“Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve.” ~Chris Warner~
Keep moving forward!