I was perusing my Linkedin account and a name came up, suggesting that I connect with him.  I knew the name from a long time ago.  I thought, could it be him?  There wasn’t a picture so I bravely sent a request to be connected.  He accepted.  But still… was it him?  I started to think back to the time we spent together when I was 18.  A smile came to my face and all of our adventures came flooding back to the forefront of my memory.  He was in the Airforce.  He was stationed at Luke.  I met him at church.  He was a boy from Ohio and he  didn’t mince words.  He just plain let me know, that I was the cats meow!  We went everywhere together.  Hiking, picnicking, traveling, canoeing, you name it, we did it.   I always had that sense of adventure, I had just never been with anyone who brought it out.  It was an awesome 6 months until he wanted to take me home and marry me.  I wasn’t ready for that.  I was in college and wanted to finish before I married anyone.  I realize now, how much I missed that adventure. It has always been a part of who I am.    I never had it again until my last relationship and in many ways they are alike.  (In a good way)

I look back at what came after him and I turned into that Chamaeleon I wrote about this past week.  I lost who I was.  I became who they wanted me to be and I didn’t have  lasting relationships.  We have to be who we really are.  Why did I give up my sense of adventure?  I was so young.  I thought I wouldn’t be able to keep a man if I didn’t become who they wanted.  What an immature way of thinking.  But we still do it even as we get older.

I still don’t know if it’s really him; I may never know.  But the memories are good.  They have let me realize that who I am today, is who I really am.  I often times feel like I’m 18 again.  Age is just a number.  My adventures continue as I continue to move on with my life.

I vow to never be anyone but who I am from this day forward.  I continue to live my life; an adventurous life at that.

Keep Moving Forward,

Kimberly Rae