I was perusing my Linkedin account and a name came up, suggesting that I connect with him. I knew the name from a long time ago. I thought, could it be him? There wasn’t a picture so I bravely sent a request to be connected. He accepted. But still… was it him? I started to think back to the time we spent together when I was 18. A smile came to my face and all of our adventures came flooding back to the forefront of my memory. He was in the Airforce. He was stationed at Luke. I met him at church. He was a boy from Ohio and he didn’t mince words. He just plain let me know, that I was the cats meow! We went everywhere together. Hiking, picnicking, traveling, canoeing, you name it, we did it. I always had that sense of adventure, I had just never been with anyone who brought it out. It was an awesome 6 months until he wanted to take me home and marry me. I wasn’t ready for that. I was in college and wanted to finish before I married anyone. I realize now, how much I missed that adventure. It has always been a part of who I am. I never had it again until my last relationship and in many ways they are alike. (In a good way)
I look back at what came after him and I turned into that Chamaeleon I wrote about this past week. I lost who I was. I became who they wanted me to be and I didn’t have lasting relationships. We have to be who we really are. Why did I give up my sense of adventure? I was so young. I thought I wouldn’t be able to keep a man if I didn’t become who they wanted. What an immature way of thinking. But we still do it even as we get older.
I still don’t know if it’s really him; I may never know. But the memories are good. They have let me realize that who I am today, is who I really am. I often times feel like I’m 18 again. Age is just a number. My adventures continue as I continue to move on with my life.
I vow to never be anyone but who I am from this day forward. I continue to live my life; an adventurous life at that.
Keep Moving Forward,