Dealing with Today

“Sometimes the past is a present”  As the tears were flowing, slowly trickling down my face, I came across this as I was attempting to read.  The tears clouded my vision, but it caught my attention.  At that moment, I couldn’t see how the past was a present at all.  The curve ball that was thrown my way today has clouded my vision; my positive, happy, outgoing vision.  I really just wanted to crawl in  a hole and not come out.  The darkness was all I wanted for a while.

As my vision became a little clearer, I saw how much I had learned over the past 6 years and I am thankful for that.  I just don’t know why I am continually tormented by him and the other woman.  I have done nothing to them.  I’m just trying to move on.  What am I supposed to learn from all of this Lord?  I do not know.  It hurts and as I lay out my pain to you today, you have to know this is real stuff.  Life can just sock you in the gut from out of nowhere.  My reaction wasn’t great; a lot of tears and wondering why I am without someone;  when I wasn’t the one who did anything wrong.  Writing about it always helps me.  I have dreams and goals that I want to pursue and that I am pursuing.  I can’t and I won’t let him or anyone step on those dreams.  God has a plan for me and I need to be patient and wait.  My faith will follow me wherever I go.

Keep moving forward.  I am today:)

 

Kimberly Rae

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