Have you ever looked back and wished you had done things differently? I am sitting here watching the movie “P.S. I Love You” A very rude reminder of what I’ve been through along with the crazy things I did after losing the man I loved. As I wrote months ago Losing someone to walking out on you is the same as someone passing away. They have left you either way and the grieving process has to run it’s course. It’s not any easier being abandoned by choice . I know some may have a different opinion about that, but as I sit and watch the movie, I went through all the things she went through after her husband died; as I’m sure some of you have.
It has taken over a year to get over all of those places , songs, the little things we did together not to bother me anymore. As I look back as she has, I wish I would have said things, done some things differently. I think when we have been with someone for some time, we get comfortable and lazy in some ways. We have to be aware of that. I will be for sure in my next relationship. Notice how sure I am that there will be one:) Positive thinking can never hurt, I always say.
You have to stop wanting him at some point. I was beginning to wonder if that was going to happen. I found myself getting mad at myself and frustrated; why can’t I just get him out of my head? and then you start to cry because you see others showing their love for each other and you wish you had that again. Somehow he still enters my thoughts in stealth mode no less. I never know when thoughts of him will just be there. And why? I ask. I still find myself missing parts of who he was. But I have moved on. Seeing this movie has helped me see it, but it also shows me who I was. I am so glad I am not her anymore. God has a plan. I am enjoying my life and living each day. And that is the best I/we can do at this point in our life.
So I’m at the point in the movie where the handsome, built, Irish man she meets after a year of grieving takes her in his arms… I can’t say I’ve experienced that yet. LOL! But hey, it could happen couldn’t it? Until then, I will just tell myself, P.S., I love You!
Keep moving forward,