My children have left, the day is almost over and I feel blessed for all God has given me.
I begin my move tomorrow to a new place, a new start, a new life!!!!! I am excited; but exhausted at the same time.
As I was un-decorating my tree, taking each ornament off carefully, the memories came flooding back of who gave it to me, when, and why. It’s nice to have those memories. I wrapped up all the ornaments I gave my children over the years and told them to decorate their own trees with the memories each one held. They will now make many more as the years go on.
It hit me (A lot of things have hit me lately LOL) that the person I was with, didn’t have those memories, those ornaments to bring back happy times. The ornaments I had given him I’m sure are in a box never to be seen. Throwing memories away doesn’t make that person disappear. If we keep avoiding it or those things then we are not dealing with what we gave up. How sad I thought. But then he doesn’t save anything that would remind him of good times; pictures, things, whatever, they are different for all of us. He didn’t have that type of upbringing. Being a minimalist is okay, but keep some things. You don’t have to have money to make good memories. I grew up poor and raised my kids alone. I made sure my children had great memories and little things to commemorate those times to carry with them. They even shared some tonight.
We may be someone like him; But do we have to stay that way? Why do we gravitate to someone as sad as some of us are? Don’t we want to better who we are? Climb the mountain as I always say or is that too hard? It does take effort, but so worth it in the long run. I guess it’s comfortable to be with someone who has had a troubled past or similarities to ourself. We don’t feel worthy to be with someone other than that? We are all worthy of the best that we can have. We just have to believe that about ourselves.
I haven’t thrown him away. I have my special box with the things that were important to me from our relationship. I even have the special ornaments that were ours; not hanging on my tree but in a special place where I will see them every Christmas as I decorate for the holiday; and the good memories of us will come to light for a brief moment and I will smile:)
I don’t believe in trashing any past relationship. There is always something good you can take from it and I know something that you have learned from it. I don’t choose to remember the not so good parts; the hurtful parts. Once we get to this point, we can move on or at least be on our way.
So, as you unadorn your tree this year, take a moment to look at those ornaments. Are there any that bring back a great memory to you; a smile to your face, or just a laugh? If you don’t have any; ask yourself why.
Start making memories that put a smile in your heart. I have a tree full of them:)
Keep moving forward,