Trusting Again

“You may be deceived if you trust too much but you will live in torment if you don’t trust enough” ~Frank Crane~

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I sit here perched high upon a desert rock, admiring the majestic mountain I have climbed many times.  It is one of the most beautiful formations that God has created.  This mountain, along with many others, was my savior as I was healing.

I am resting upon another vista today; having a little one-on-one time with God.

As I have moved past the hurt and pain, I find I am struggling to find a balance in the area of trust. It has been my pattern to trust too much and therefore, I have been deceived many times.  My trusting nature is often times taken advantage of.  I mean really, who wants to experience the pain of being deceived over and over?  Certainly not me.  I’m not sure If I could go through that again; or that I would want to.  So, there in lies the question: Do I continue to trust as I always have, or do I look at anyone new I meet with a questionable eye?

The latter really isn’t who I am, but I find that my red flag awareness is heightened after what I have been through.  I interrupt actions too deeply and feel as If I am being deceived; when maybe I am not.

I need to find my center here; a happy medium, if you will.  I trust God implicitly.  So I trust he will guide me on this journey.

From my experience, the worst deception is to deny what is going on around you or pretend that you’re okay. We can deceive ourselves so well that we really believe we are doing okay. When in reality, we are just existing.   Are any of you in that place?

The wind is picking up as it attempts to penetrate my many layers of clothing.  It is 39 degrees and holding.  But the air is crisp and the silence is golden.  Thank you Fr_ _ _for showing me how to take the time to be one with nature and with God.

I slowly stand and admire my view as I begin to make my decent.  Life in the desert can be pretty spectacular!

My keen sense of awareness may be heightened, but I choose to continue to trust all that I meet.  It is who I am.  God will handle the rest:)

Keep hiking to the top!

Kimberly Rae

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