To all my followers and blogging friends out there, I find myself in a bit of a quandary.  Not sure quandary is the right word, but it works for now.

I have put myself back out into dating world.  Not that I’m out there looking, I just know I’m ready if someone should find me:)  What I am finding is that only older men are attracted to me.  Men too old for me.  All very nice and I have enjoyed conversing with them, but then they want more and well, I don’t.  There just isn’t anything there.  If they just wanted to be friends, I would be fine with that.  There has to be a spark; something that warrants more interest or pursuit.

So last weekend as I was hiking with a group I go with, the older man of the group of course attaches himself to me.  He stays by me the entire 9 miles in the canyon.  We had a great conversation, I enjoyed his company, but that is as far as it goes for me. He continued to hit on me even after the hike and has invited me on a few others through the meet-up group.  So now I have signed up for a big hike this Sunday and he is now going.  I am not comfortable.  I feel like I have to avoid what I want to do because he isn’t giving up on me.  I don’t want to hurt his feelings.  What do I do????

Now, on the other hand I managed to talk with a few other men, more my age (and who I wouldn’t mind getting to know.) As we hiked along the rugged trail, I found  out they had girlfriends and other things about them that led to some great conversation.    So I asked them why their girlfriends were not out here with them.  They said this wasn’t their thing.  I responded with “Yeah, but it’s your thing and something you like to do all the time. Doesn’t that get in the way of your relationship?”  They replied with, “We have to make it work, or else we will be alone.”  Then they asked me where my significant other was, I told them he hadn’t found me yet.  LOL.  I said I wasn’t going to settle.  That who ever I find or who finds me will have to enjoy the outdoors as much as me. This is where I spend a good deal of my time. Am I wrong in my thinking here?   They asked me if I liked being alone.  I chuckled as I responded, “I’m not alone. and you wouldn’t be either.”  Why don’t they see this?  These are intelligent men I am talking to here.  Do they really think they need a woman to complete them?  To me that is a form of insecurity.  Again, CONFUSED!

So, is this just a guy thing.  It seems to me that guys settle because they don’t know how to be on their own.  I am not including all men in that assumption, but the ones I’ve met seem to follow it.  Why is that?  I don’t understand.  I agree you have to work on any relationship, but make it work?  NO.  If you have to make something work, that’s like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.  It isn’t going to happen unless you shave off some of the corners and push it through.  Then what do you have?  A lost identity. It wasn’t the right fit to begin with.  I would rather be where I am at now, knowing who I am and enjoying my life, than not sure who I am and settling for someone who is just OK.

I want to naturally fit with someone.  I had it once.  I hope I can find it again.  God has someone for me.   I am being very patient and enjoying the journey:)

Any feedback or suggestions welcome!!

Keep hiking to the top!!

Kimberly Rae