The light from the bathroom window peaks under the door as I lay in my bed at 2:16 in the morning. I’m wide awake. Why? I ask myself. The room is quiet. I talk to God for a while. I feel confident my mother’s surgery will go well, my daughter is safe in New York and my son is doing great so… Why am I staring at the fan blades as they rotate around over and over?
Life is ever-changing. I think when we begin to get into a rut, God/the universe wakes us up with something we may not like to get our attention. You have all seen my transformation from where I started to where I am now and I have grown through change and made it to the other side; but I’m still climbing that mountain. I’ve been hit with more change than I want to deal with now. I can’t run away from it, or brush it aside; it’s still going to be there. I think it’s natural to want to run away sometimes. It’s times like these you wish you had someone to hold you.
As always, I find solace in my hiking trips. They help center me and help give me more of a focus on what I need to do. This weekend as I venture into the rim country, I will attempt to find my focus. There are some days (like today) I wish I was just lost in the woods where no one can find me; the creek is running and the trout are jumping. The trees make their own sound as the wind rustles through them. Music to my ears! Alright!! Back to reality:(
Life deals us a hand every day. We can choose to play it or not. If we don’t, we are playing it safe and life isn’t going to take us very far. Taking risks is a part of change and growth; scary as it may be at times, it lets you know you’re alive and that you can do anything you put your mind to.
So life is dealing me a few hands here. And I’m just not wrapping my head around one of them. That is teaching 2nd grade for the first time in my life, in the last year of my career. I don’t agree with the decision to move me there. But I have no say in the matter. I don’t want to say, “I don’t have a choice” because we all have a choice no matter what we are faced with. I could just quit. But then I wouldn’t have an income, so that won’t work for me. The negative energy that this whole situation is giving off doesn’t work well for me. So… I guess I just need to embrace it, accept it, and move on. One more year!! I can do this.
As I was writing this a friend of mine called and gave me some positive ways to look at this new change in my life. Thank you to him for his words.
I purposely wore my read dress today to feel energized and ready to take on what ever came my way. It always helps when I wear red. I feel empowered:)
So as my day comes to a close I feel good. I have so much to be thankful for, I shouldn’t feel any other way! I can still hear the stream flow and the fish jumping!
Keep hiking to the top!