Tag: be the real you

The Dance Lesson

On By Kimberly Rae Gerodimos/MarxIn Life's journey1 Comment

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The twang and the electric sound of the country music hits my ears as I walked into the night club.  I was by myself, going to meet an old high school friend that invited me to come learn the West Coast Swing.  I love to dance, so it was obvious I would say yes. (God knew that)  What I didn’t know, is how much I was going to learn on this fine Saturday evening.

My friend paired me up with a male friend  of hers so I would have a partner.  As I walked on to the dance floor I assumed I would only be learning a new dance.  But God knew, there was a part of my past that I had not settled with.  I  loosely took his hand, the music started I was in my element and I felt great!!  As he spun me around…. There she was.  The woman who so cunningly did her best to lure my past relationship away from me.  The woman I knew, who I entertained in my home.  A woman who played the game; took him for a while and then spit him back out.  The woman who aided and abetted in breaking my heart into so many pieces that I thought I would never be able to put them back together.  As our eyes locked, I froze. Everything stopped for that moment.  But the beat goes on, as Nancy Sinatra would say.  And so did I:)

Being that I am not a vengeful person, I never said anything to her 3 and half years ago, I just let it go.  I said plenty to him, but that is another story:)  And then I think, maybe I should have.  But as I looked at her and watched her through the evening, I knew that I was so much better off.  My life was rich in love, joy, peace….   I can wake up every morning with a smile, that is genuine.  I’m happy with me:)

This dance lesson helped me put so many things into perspective.  I realized I do not want to have the love I had for him with anyone else.  I fell so deep in love with him, that I lost who I was which made the hurt even more painful.  I will love again. I didn’t let it destroy me.

God has his ways of reaching us and helping us to the next step so we are open to more of his blessings.  I had a very enjoyable evening.  I met new people, and danced with a kick in my step knowing, I am on the right path.

I leave you with some words of wisdom from someone who has lived it:)

“Memories are good. But sometimes a memory is so powerful that we get stuck in it… frozen in a minute.” ~KG~

Keep Hiking to the Top,

Faith in What’s to Come

On By Kimberly Rae Gerodimos/MarxIn Life's journey1 Comment

They say they built the train tracks between the Alps and Venice before there was a train to use them.  They just knew that it would come…

I hiked to the top of a very steep trail just to find ladybugs that inhabit the area.  As I reached the top, I was looking at a wide open field with tall grasses and flowering weeds… beautiful in their own right. But I couldn’t find a one. Not one lady bug.  The beauty in front of me was astounding.  I laid down and looked up at the puffy white clouds that seemed to move their way around the sun.  I closed my eyes and took it all in.  My mind free to flow and think.  When I opened my eyes, there were lady bugs all around me.  ~When we aren’t looking, the most amazing things are attracted to us~

I am not looking.  I have spent the last 4 years getting to know me again.  I have embraced my singleness… although there is the idea of someone to share my life with.

So… I  slowly tore down the wall that  was protecting my heart. It was time.  I opened up my heart once again.  I shared intimate moments of my life.  I opened my soul and became vulnerable to his kindness.  But I soon realized, I was just his muse.  Someone to fill a void in a seemingly happy life. (so he says)   And so the wall goes back up again… this time it is made of brick. It will soften in time:)  So I continue to live my life and wait… patiently, for the right one.  When he enters my path – I’ll know.  I’ll just know… he’s the one.

All I want is to be someone’s SOMEONE… Their only SOMEONE:)  Not just a fleeting moment in someone else’s existence. I am worth more than that.

I know my day will come. The train may not be here yet, But I have FAITH… it will come:)

As always,  Keep hiking to the top!

Kimberly Rae

Just Friends

On By Kimberly Rae Gerodimos/MarxIn Life's journeyLeave a comment

The sweet smell of cinnamon and sugar engulf the small space I call my writing corner. I miss having an office.  The scent of a candle can bring back memories, brighten up a mood, or take you to another place where no one can find you.  I am going to another place.  In my mind anyway.

There are days I understand life and all that it gives and others where it just doesn’t make sense.  This is a “doesn’t make sense”  kind of day.

It was my birthday yesterday.  Even though I was overpowered with birthday wishes, there was one I didn’t get.  One I couldn’t or wasn’t allowed to get.

Why can’t men and women just be friends?  I have always had male friends; married, with a girlfriend, didn’t matter.  I had no romantic interest in them.  They were just great friends.  But society and insecure women don’t see it that way.  If they have someone in their life you can’t be talking with them.  WHY NOT???  I’m not trying to take them from who they have.  I would never do that.  I’ve been on the other of that.  It is so nice talking to a man.  They don’t judge you, criticize you, they say it like is and you don’t have to second guess them.  Amazing!!!

That pit in your stomach, the “I don’t feel like eating,”  the emptiness in your heart is all that I am feeling right now.  I had to give my friend up.  He can no longer talk to me, email me, or call me.  Society has deemed it isn’t right.  I have known him since college.  I know people come and go in our lives, but I will miss him.  I do miss him… and he misses me.   But I do understand. His happiness is more important to me.  I know we will always be friends in our hearts.

Always hiking to the top,

Kimberly Rae

The Chameleon

On By Kimberly Rae Gerodimos/MarxIn Relationships, UncategorizedLeave a comment

“Someone elses vision of yourself will never be as good as your own. Live and die with it because in the end that’s all you have.  Lose it, you lose yourself and everything else.” ~Georgia O’Keeffe~

Our life is like a painting.  The way others view it isn’t always the way we painted it; or how we started out when we began our adult life.  How often do we paint a different picture of ourselves to please the one we are with? Are you that Chameleon that morphs into the person you are with just to keep them? Would we recognize your painting?  Or has it changed that much?

We do not always see ourselves changing for the other.  It is usually a slow process, but in doing so , we begin to lose who we really are.  We sacrifice the things we enjoy or loved at one time and brush them off as trivial and unimportant.  We go along with it for a while and often times begin to really believe it; sometimes we have to in order to survive, so we think.   We justify our actions by it; we throw our friends away, and ignore our family at times to be this person that no one knows anymore; all for the person who is really controlling our life.  And sadly, we are letting them:(

I cannot say I haven’t been there.  Most of my relationships before this last one, I gave up who I really was to make it work.  I can in all honesty say in my last relationship I was really me.  It felt good.  If I didn’t like something, I expressed my opinion. I felt free to comment on anything.  I am not saying you can’t compromise on things and issues.  But to make a 360 degree turn from who you really were, isn’t healthy.  It shows your insecurity and fears.

The Chameleon reminds me of the movie “Runaway Bride”  When the reporter asks all the men she was supposed to mary how she liked her eggs.  When he asked her, she didn’t know, because she just went along with whatever They liked.  She lost who she was and had to take the time to find herself again.  She didn’t even realize it until he brought it to her attention; which is why I am bringing it to yours.

Look at where you are now.  Is the real you in plain sight on your canvas? Or are you hiding in someone elses painting?

Let your painting be as individual as you are and smile. Because being the real you is the most beautiful painting.

As always, keep moving forward,

Kimberly Rae