Tag: being positive

Patience!!

On By Kimberly Rae Gerodimos/MarxIn Life's journey1 Comment

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“Things come to us not when we want them, but when we are ready.”

Patience is a virtue…so they say.   I’m not sure that was passed down through my genetic makeup.  Oh, I suppose there is some swishing around in there somewhere.  It does come out now and then.  But today… it has taken a holiday, and I’m not sure when it’s returning.

I do my best each morning to wake up with a grateful heart, a smile on my face, and the motivation to make it a great day!!!  But today, and maybe a little yesterday… It seems to have escaped me.  I seem to be standing at a huge fork in the road.  My journey has stalled; taken a rest… I don’t know, but I’m stuck; frozen at a point in my life where I should be confident and moving forward.

My summer took me to places I didn’t think I would ever see.   I climbed the highest peak in Oahu.  I swam in the bluest water you have ever seen.  I tasted food beyond my wildest imagination… I was living and loving my life.  But…as wonderful as my trips were… I didn’t have anyone to share it with.  I wanted to be sitting on Sunset beach with that special person in my life.  I wanted to laugh and discover with them.  I wanted someone’s shoulder to lean on, on the long flight home.   After 5 years of being single, is God saying I am still not ready?? Does Karma really exist?  I keep asking myself if I have done something not to deserve a good man in my life.  I keep asking God, what else am I supposed to learn?

I’ve grown to love myself and to be happy with just me.  The scar I wear proudly from my last relationship… remains just that… a Scar.  It has healed over and I have moved forward.  I’m ready!!! So I think.

So what else God??  Are you still trying to teach me about patience?  I know I’ve stumbled a bit over the past 5 years, but I’m still here; wishing and wanting to share my life with the person you have waiting for me; or maybe there isn’t someone.  Maybe I am just supposed to embrace being single and that’s how it’s going to be.

So give me that little nudge. Push me in the right direction.  You may need to hold my hand at first, but I’ll keep moving forward, because I have never lost my faith in YOU.

As always… Keep hiking to the top!!!

Kimberly Rae

 

 

 

 

The Dance Lesson

On By Kimberly Rae Gerodimos/MarxIn Life's journey1 Comment

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The twang and the electric sound of the country music hits my ears as I walked into the night club.  I was by myself, going to meet an old high school friend that invited me to come learn the West Coast Swing.  I love to dance, so it was obvious I would say yes. (God knew that)  What I didn’t know, is how much I was going to learn on this fine Saturday evening.

My friend paired me up with a male friend  of hers so I would have a partner.  As I walked on to the dance floor I assumed I would only be learning a new dance.  But God knew, there was a part of my past that I had not settled with.  I  loosely took his hand, the music started I was in my element and I felt great!!  As he spun me around…. There she was.  The woman who so cunningly did her best to lure my past relationship away from me.  The woman I knew, who I entertained in my home.  A woman who played the game; took him for a while and then spit him back out.  The woman who aided and abetted in breaking my heart into so many pieces that I thought I would never be able to put them back together.  As our eyes locked, I froze. Everything stopped for that moment.  But the beat goes on, as Nancy Sinatra would say.  And so did I:)

Being that I am not a vengeful person, I never said anything to her 3 and half years ago, I just let it go.  I said plenty to him, but that is another story:)  And then I think, maybe I should have.  But as I looked at her and watched her through the evening, I knew that I was so much better off.  My life was rich in love, joy, peace….   I can wake up every morning with a smile, that is genuine.  I’m happy with me:)

This dance lesson helped me put so many things into perspective.  I realized I do not want to have the love I had for him with anyone else.  I fell so deep in love with him, that I lost who I was which made the hurt even more painful.  I will love again. I didn’t let it destroy me.

God has his ways of reaching us and helping us to the next step so we are open to more of his blessings.  I had a very enjoyable evening.  I met new people, and danced with a kick in my step knowing, I am on the right path.

I leave you with some words of wisdom from someone who has lived it:)

“Memories are good. But sometimes a memory is so powerful that we get stuck in it… frozen in a minute.” ~KG~

Keep Hiking to the Top,

Faith in What’s to Come

On By Kimberly Rae Gerodimos/MarxIn Life's journey1 Comment

They say they built the train tracks between the Alps and Venice before there was a train to use them.  They just knew that it would come…

I hiked to the top of a very steep trail just to find ladybugs that inhabit the area.  As I reached the top, I was looking at a wide open field with tall grasses and flowering weeds… beautiful in their own right. But I couldn’t find a one. Not one lady bug.  The beauty in front of me was astounding.  I laid down and looked up at the puffy white clouds that seemed to move their way around the sun.  I closed my eyes and took it all in.  My mind free to flow and think.  When I opened my eyes, there were lady bugs all around me.  ~When we aren’t looking, the most amazing things are attracted to us~

I am not looking.  I have spent the last 4 years getting to know me again.  I have embraced my singleness… although there is the idea of someone to share my life with.

So… I  slowly tore down the wall that  was protecting my heart. It was time.  I opened up my heart once again.  I shared intimate moments of my life.  I opened my soul and became vulnerable to his kindness.  But I soon realized, I was just his muse.  Someone to fill a void in a seemingly happy life. (so he says)   And so the wall goes back up again… this time it is made of brick. It will soften in time:)  So I continue to live my life and wait… patiently, for the right one.  When he enters my path – I’ll know.  I’ll just know… he’s the one.

All I want is to be someone’s SOMEONE… Their only SOMEONE:)  Not just a fleeting moment in someone else’s existence. I am worth more than that.

I know my day will come. The train may not be here yet, But I have FAITH… it will come:)

As always,  Keep hiking to the top!

Kimberly Rae

Just Friends

On By Kimberly Rae Gerodimos/MarxIn Life's journeyLeave a comment

The sweet smell of cinnamon and sugar engulf the small space I call my writing corner. I miss having an office.  The scent of a candle can bring back memories, brighten up a mood, or take you to another place where no one can find you.  I am going to another place.  In my mind anyway.

There are days I understand life and all that it gives and others where it just doesn’t make sense.  This is a “doesn’t make sense”  kind of day.

It was my birthday yesterday.  Even though I was overpowered with birthday wishes, there was one I didn’t get.  One I couldn’t or wasn’t allowed to get.

Why can’t men and women just be friends?  I have always had male friends; married, with a girlfriend, didn’t matter.  I had no romantic interest in them.  They were just great friends.  But society and insecure women don’t see it that way.  If they have someone in their life you can’t be talking with them.  WHY NOT???  I’m not trying to take them from who they have.  I would never do that.  I’ve been on the other of that.  It is so nice talking to a man.  They don’t judge you, criticize you, they say it like is and you don’t have to second guess them.  Amazing!!!

That pit in your stomach, the “I don’t feel like eating,”  the emptiness in your heart is all that I am feeling right now.  I had to give my friend up.  He can no longer talk to me, email me, or call me.  Society has deemed it isn’t right.  I have known him since college.  I know people come and go in our lives, but I will miss him.  I do miss him… and he misses me.   But I do understand. His happiness is more important to me.  I know we will always be friends in our hearts.

Always hiking to the top,

Kimberly Rae

A Love So True

On By Kimberly Rae Gerodimos/MarxIn Life's journeyLeave a comment

It is officially November, Halloween has come and gone, my uncarved pumpkins remain outside my door to remind me that it is Fall, and the Christmas movies have begun to show up on the various channels that engulf our T.V’s.  And yes…  I am still single.  I am not saying that as if it is a bad thing.  I thoroughly enjoy my life and am very happy.  But there is still the idea of a man; someone to share my already happy life with:)

So many people have asked me, “What are you looking for?”  “What do you want?”

I always thought I knew exactly what I wanted in a relationship, but after talking with a long-lost friend from college, I have reassessed my wants.  I don’t like using the word “wants”   It’s more like a feeling.  It is the way I perceive love.  Some may say I am a hopeless romantic, (I am)  and my take on love is only in fairy tales.  But, I do not agree.

My take on a TRUE LOVE:

I want love, not the comfortable, safe kind.  I want extraordinary, passionate, everything is in sync love.  Where their touch electrifies my soul. When he touches my hand, my whole body quivers. Where the simplest of gestures bring a smile to my face.  When what I want most in the world, (and this is it,) adds to my happiness.  Love isn’t a fairy tale if it’s TRUE.  

So, I will keep praying,and  keep the faith, that God has someone like this for me.  I know he is out there.  He just hasn’t found me yet:)

My words of wisdom for today:  Hold out for what you truly want in life.  Don’t settle.  Love yourself first, so you can give that true love to someone else:)

Be happy in life!!

Keep hiking to the top!

Kimberly Rae

Here’s What I Know For Sure…

On By Kimberly Rae Gerodimos/MarxIn Life's journeyLeave a comment

I know that we have to create our own happiness and let others add to it.

I know that love in it’s purest form is all I need.

I know it isn’t our job to fix people; but to encourage and inspire.

I know that life can beat me down, but it’s how I get up and face it, that strengthens my character.

I know people come and go in my life, but I have learned something from each one of them, and I thank them for that.

I know that men and women can be just friends – and that is okay:)

I know that my life will never change unless I do something I have never done.

I know that living in the moment allows me to see things I might have missed.

I know  that a rose bud that has just opened is the most fragrant as is a new relationship  just beginning to bloom.

I know my children are the best part of me. I am so proud of who they have become.

I know the pain that comes from a love lost and the renewed person that comes from it.

I know that a few good friends out way many.

I know the beauty of the mountains and the quiet of the slow moving stream.

I know God’s love and that he believes in me.

I know that I’m happy and I love my life.

I know the depth of my soul is only as deep as the love I have for myself.

I know that true beauty lies within, not in the cover.

What I do know for sure is every ending has a new beginning – so no  matter where you are at in the circle of life; beginning, middle, or end, make it the best and truly live in each moment that crosses your path.

 

The Journey is the Reward!

Keep hiking to the top.

Kimberly Rae

Positive Thinking!!

On By Kimberly Rae Gerodimos/MarxIn Life's journeyLeave a comment

      My Wish for Today

 

As I sit here at the end of a long day, in the peace and quiet of my classroom, I think of you.  The moisture in the sky has provoked my students to act in a mysterious way throughout the day; which has left me drained and wishing I was on the road… with you.

The tranquility of the mountain air, the smell of the pine trees, and the aroma of the campfire beneath the openness of the twinkling blue sky, are all things I long for at this moment.   As the sun departs and the moon slowly rises, a chill fills the air; I snuggle up to you with your arms around me and I am loved and life is good.

 

I have come to a point in my life where being positive is all I know.  Not a bad thing:)  So…  I do not know who the “You” is in my poem, but knowing that he’s out there and knowing that he will come into my like one day, is thinking positively:)   I trust that God will lead him to me, or me to him:)   Life is a never ending journey.  I’m happy with mine:)

 

Keep Hiking to the top!

Kimberly Rae

Don’t Cage the Butterfly

On By Kimberly Rae Gerodimos/MarxIn Life's journeyLeave a comment

The beautiful black and orange Monarch flutters by as I freely hike into the unknown.  He seems to be watching over me. Or maybe he’s enjoying the path I chose to take today.  He’s free to come and go as he likes.  I look at my life synonymous to the butterfly.  We all transform throughout our life.  We grow and become different people.  Some more colorful than others, but all out there trying to live their life they way they feel is best.  No one can take that away from them unless…  A little boy sees that beautiful butterfly flying around touching the reds, golds, and greens of the garden, cups his hands around the orange and black and puts the beauty in a jar to admire and watch.  Sadly his freedom is now taken away.  He can only flutter within the confines of the glass jar he was placed in; not by choice.

I find myself in that glass jar today and for a while maybe.   My freedom to roam the many trails just waiting for my footprints are no longer.  I’m trapped in the jar, looking out at all I am missing.  I have air holes.  I can breathe in the fresh air, but I can’t walk in it.  My fragile vertebrae, like the butterfly’s, have fused together.  As I sit here at my computer, the pain ripples up my spine.  My years of adventure and exploring have caught up to me.  The trails will not feel the life I bring, this year.  What are my options?  I feel as if my wings are about to fall off.  I can’t flutter anymore.  I have to look at my life through a different lens.  I won’t let the little boy keep me caged.  I will find a way to be on the trails again, to kayak down a river, to explore the unknown.  This butterfly has a lot more life to live.

My color will flourish.  I will shine again.  The lid will come off and I will fly.  The mountains will feel my footsteps again.

Keep hiking to the top!

Kimberly Rae

 

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Somewhere Over the Rainbow…

On By Kimberly Rae Gerodimos/MarxIn Life's journey2 Comments

Somewhere over the rainbow…  I know it’s just a song, but how many of us grew up with the notion that dreams really do come true?   Yours truly:)  Yes, I know, I’m a hopeless romantic. I blame my parents, they made me watch the Wizard of Oz every year it came on.  My mother read me every fairytale.  I was in love with  princes.  They would always rescue me when my life got rough and I got scared.  My dreams saved me.  And then reality hit.  “What do you mean there aren’t any handsome princes????”  Who is going to save me???  Ahhh, the burning question.  The answer is, I have to save myself.  I  can’t  depend on someone else or a fictional dream. That has only confused my psyche on what is real and what is pretend.

In my last relationship, I always said he was my handsome prince.  He rescued me from my self-doubt, pity, you name it.  I fell in love deeply.  Like I did in my dreams.  I had my fairytale, so I thought.  Or was I just living in a false reality?

I find myself still sitting at the beginning of the rainbow.  I want a relationship, I think I’m ready for one, but nothing is happening.  I can’t seem to take a step.  A friend sent me the saying below and it gave me a jolt.  He is still on my mind.  Not on purpose.  I don’t want him to be.  I have moved on.  I go about my life doing many things.  So why is he still in the deep recesses of my thoughts??

Screenshot_2014-03-20-17-09-41~2

Is this why I can’t seem to get to the other side?  I think he will always  have a special place in my heart.  He was my prince after all:)  But I can go on.  I have gone on.  I don’t want him back.  The man he has become is not someone I would even entertain.    Maybe I’m afraid to see what is  on the other side of the rainbow.  I must be guarding my heart.  I have to take the armor off or I’ll never get to the other side.  Then I think, maybe I had my one chance at true love and that is all I get.   I guess I’ll never know until I tear the walls down and start journeying over that rainbow.  God has my back.  I do believe he has a great plan for me.  I secretly hope  someone to share my life with is part of the plan:):)

 

“Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue, and the dreams that you dare to dream, really do come true.”

I’ll keep you posted:):)

Keep hiking to the top,

Kimberly Rae

Living Your Life!

On By Kimberly Rae Gerodimos/MarxIn Life's journeyLeave a comment
The beauty of the Colorado Mountains.
The beauty of the Colorado Mountains.

My summer adventures are in full swing.  I have to say, I live for these times when I can get out and explore the beauty in places you would never find unless you were to go off the beaten path.  I’ve always been one to take the road less traveled:)   I love meeting new people, finding new trails, and just the peacefulness that seems to surround my every day existence.

I just came back from Colorado as I mentioned in my earlier post.  I was reacquainted with a friend from high school; it was as if we had never been apart for 30 years.  I ventured out to places I hadn’t seen and to some I had been to before.

I was amazed at  how I was able to remember every little store, trail, road he and I had been on 4 years ago.  I realized that when you love someone that much those special moments are imprinted in your brain.  I am glad to have had that time with him and know that I truly did love at least once on my life; good memories to look back on from time to time.

I found my desire to move to Colorado only heightened while I was there.  I felt so at peace.  I have always visualized myself living there.  The pictures on my fridge tell that story.  Will I end up there?  I don’t know.  I’m continually drawn there; I’m not sure why.  I see many doors/paths in front of me.  I have many options, I’m just not sure which one to take.  So I ask God to help me.  I think it is pretty amazing that I have options; when just a few years ago I didn’t see any.

I love the hike.  I love  the smells of the wooded floor; the pine trees as they move with the wind; and the prairie grasses as they ripple like a calm ocean wave.  The feeling of being one with nature gives me a natural high that I cannot explain.

The journey I am on now is a good one:)  I feel at peace and confident in where I’m going.  I am creating new moments to cherish and remember; all by myself:)  I know who I am; and that is a huge accomplishment.

On to my next adventure… to be continued

Enjoy the pictures

Keep hiking to the top,

Kimberly Rae                                                                    2013-06-26 08.40.00

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