Tag: believing

The Dance Lesson

On By Kimberly Rae Gerodimos/MarxIn Life's journey1 Comment

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The twang and the electric sound of the country music hits my ears as I walked into the night club.  I was by myself, going to meet an old high school friend that invited me to come learn the West Coast Swing.  I love to dance, so it was obvious I would say yes. (God knew that)  What I didn’t know, is how much I was going to learn on this fine Saturday evening.

My friend paired me up with a male friend  of hers so I would have a partner.  As I walked on to the dance floor I assumed I would only be learning a new dance.  But God knew, there was a part of my past that I had not settled with.  I  loosely took his hand, the music started I was in my element and I felt great!!  As he spun me around…. There she was.  The woman who so cunningly did her best to lure my past relationship away from me.  The woman I knew, who I entertained in my home.  A woman who played the game; took him for a while and then spit him back out.  The woman who aided and abetted in breaking my heart into so many pieces that I thought I would never be able to put them back together.  As our eyes locked, I froze. Everything stopped for that moment.  But the beat goes on, as Nancy Sinatra would say.  And so did I:)

Being that I am not a vengeful person, I never said anything to her 3 and half years ago, I just let it go.  I said plenty to him, but that is another story:)  And then I think, maybe I should have.  But as I looked at her and watched her through the evening, I knew that I was so much better off.  My life was rich in love, joy, peace….   I can wake up every morning with a smile, that is genuine.  I’m happy with me:)

This dance lesson helped me put so many things into perspective.  I realized I do not want to have the love I had for him with anyone else.  I fell so deep in love with him, that I lost who I was which made the hurt even more painful.  I will love again. I didn’t let it destroy me.

God has his ways of reaching us and helping us to the next step so we are open to more of his blessings.  I had a very enjoyable evening.  I met new people, and danced with a kick in my step knowing, I am on the right path.

I leave you with some words of wisdom from someone who has lived it:)

“Memories are good. But sometimes a memory is so powerful that we get stuck in it… frozen in a minute.” ~KG~

Keep Hiking to the Top,

Faith in What’s to Come

On By Kimberly Rae Gerodimos/MarxIn Life's journey1 Comment

They say they built the train tracks between the Alps and Venice before there was a train to use them.  They just knew that it would come…

I hiked to the top of a very steep trail just to find ladybugs that inhabit the area.  As I reached the top, I was looking at a wide open field with tall grasses and flowering weeds… beautiful in their own right. But I couldn’t find a one. Not one lady bug.  The beauty in front of me was astounding.  I laid down and looked up at the puffy white clouds that seemed to move their way around the sun.  I closed my eyes and took it all in.  My mind free to flow and think.  When I opened my eyes, there were lady bugs all around me.  ~When we aren’t looking, the most amazing things are attracted to us~

I am not looking.  I have spent the last 4 years getting to know me again.  I have embraced my singleness… although there is the idea of someone to share my life with.

So… I  slowly tore down the wall that  was protecting my heart. It was time.  I opened up my heart once again.  I shared intimate moments of my life.  I opened my soul and became vulnerable to his kindness.  But I soon realized, I was just his muse.  Someone to fill a void in a seemingly happy life. (so he says)   And so the wall goes back up again… this time it is made of brick. It will soften in time:)  So I continue to live my life and wait… patiently, for the right one.  When he enters my path – I’ll know.  I’ll just know… he’s the one.

All I want is to be someone’s SOMEONE… Their only SOMEONE:)  Not just a fleeting moment in someone else’s existence. I am worth more than that.

I know my day will come. The train may not be here yet, But I have FAITH… it will come:)

As always,  Keep hiking to the top!

Kimberly Rae

Just Friends

On By Kimberly Rae Gerodimos/MarxIn Life's journeyLeave a comment

The sweet smell of cinnamon and sugar engulf the small space I call my writing corner. I miss having an office.  The scent of a candle can bring back memories, brighten up a mood, or take you to another place where no one can find you.  I am going to another place.  In my mind anyway.

There are days I understand life and all that it gives and others where it just doesn’t make sense.  This is a “doesn’t make sense”  kind of day.

It was my birthday yesterday.  Even though I was overpowered with birthday wishes, there was one I didn’t get.  One I couldn’t or wasn’t allowed to get.

Why can’t men and women just be friends?  I have always had male friends; married, with a girlfriend, didn’t matter.  I had no romantic interest in them.  They were just great friends.  But society and insecure women don’t see it that way.  If they have someone in their life you can’t be talking with them.  WHY NOT???  I’m not trying to take them from who they have.  I would never do that.  I’ve been on the other of that.  It is so nice talking to a man.  They don’t judge you, criticize you, they say it like is and you don’t have to second guess them.  Amazing!!!

That pit in your stomach, the “I don’t feel like eating,”  the emptiness in your heart is all that I am feeling right now.  I had to give my friend up.  He can no longer talk to me, email me, or call me.  Society has deemed it isn’t right.  I have known him since college.  I know people come and go in our lives, but I will miss him.  I do miss him… and he misses me.   But I do understand. His happiness is more important to me.  I know we will always be friends in our hearts.

Always hiking to the top,

Kimberly Rae

A Love So True

On By Kimberly Rae Gerodimos/MarxIn Life's journeyLeave a comment

It is officially November, Halloween has come and gone, my uncarved pumpkins remain outside my door to remind me that it is Fall, and the Christmas movies have begun to show up on the various channels that engulf our T.V’s.  And yes…  I am still single.  I am not saying that as if it is a bad thing.  I thoroughly enjoy my life and am very happy.  But there is still the idea of a man; someone to share my already happy life with:)

So many people have asked me, “What are you looking for?”  “What do you want?”

I always thought I knew exactly what I wanted in a relationship, but after talking with a long-lost friend from college, I have reassessed my wants.  I don’t like using the word “wants”   It’s more like a feeling.  It is the way I perceive love.  Some may say I am a hopeless romantic, (I am)  and my take on love is only in fairy tales.  But, I do not agree.

My take on a TRUE LOVE:

I want love, not the comfortable, safe kind.  I want extraordinary, passionate, everything is in sync love.  Where their touch electrifies my soul. When he touches my hand, my whole body quivers. Where the simplest of gestures bring a smile to my face.  When what I want most in the world, (and this is it,) adds to my happiness.  Love isn’t a fairy tale if it’s TRUE.  

So, I will keep praying,and  keep the faith, that God has someone like this for me.  I know he is out there.  He just hasn’t found me yet:)

My words of wisdom for today:  Hold out for what you truly want in life.  Don’t settle.  Love yourself first, so you can give that true love to someone else:)

Be happy in life!!

Keep hiking to the top!

Kimberly Rae

Somewhere Over the Rainbow…

On By Kimberly Rae Gerodimos/MarxIn Life's journey2 Comments

Somewhere over the rainbow…  I know it’s just a song, but how many of us grew up with the notion that dreams really do come true?   Yours truly:)  Yes, I know, I’m a hopeless romantic. I blame my parents, they made me watch the Wizard of Oz every year it came on.  My mother read me every fairytale.  I was in love with  princes.  They would always rescue me when my life got rough and I got scared.  My dreams saved me.  And then reality hit.  “What do you mean there aren’t any handsome princes????”  Who is going to save me???  Ahhh, the burning question.  The answer is, I have to save myself.  I  can’t  depend on someone else or a fictional dream. That has only confused my psyche on what is real and what is pretend.

In my last relationship, I always said he was my handsome prince.  He rescued me from my self-doubt, pity, you name it.  I fell in love deeply.  Like I did in my dreams.  I had my fairytale, so I thought.  Or was I just living in a false reality?

I find myself still sitting at the beginning of the rainbow.  I want a relationship, I think I’m ready for one, but nothing is happening.  I can’t seem to take a step.  A friend sent me the saying below and it gave me a jolt.  He is still on my mind.  Not on purpose.  I don’t want him to be.  I have moved on.  I go about my life doing many things.  So why is he still in the deep recesses of my thoughts??

Screenshot_2014-03-20-17-09-41~2

Is this why I can’t seem to get to the other side?  I think he will always  have a special place in my heart.  He was my prince after all:)  But I can go on.  I have gone on.  I don’t want him back.  The man he has become is not someone I would even entertain.    Maybe I’m afraid to see what is  on the other side of the rainbow.  I must be guarding my heart.  I have to take the armor off or I’ll never get to the other side.  Then I think, maybe I had my one chance at true love and that is all I get.   I guess I’ll never know until I tear the walls down and start journeying over that rainbow.  God has my back.  I do believe he has a great plan for me.  I secretly hope  someone to share my life with is part of the plan:):)

 

“Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue, and the dreams that you dare to dream, really do come true.”

I’ll keep you posted:):)

Keep hiking to the top,

Kimberly Rae

Christmas Magic*****

On By Kimberly Rae Gerodimos/MarxIn Life's journey1 Comment

As the remains of Thanksgiving sit in zip lock bags and in numerous containers of Tupperware in the fridge, the Christmas season unfolds.  The gold, yellows and browns are tucked carefully away as we pull out those red and green containers full of Christmas Magic!

The tree is trimmed, the shopping begins and the house is adorned with magical colors of the season; and we wish upon the star at the top of the tree for some Christmas magic!!  Or maybe a miracle.

What is Christmas magic?  Does it really exist?  For some, it could just be the feeling this time of year gives you.  It could be the smile on a young child’s face when they see Santa, or maybe the music that seems to be heard everywhere to remind us of this special time of year.  I suppose it is different for all.  But for me, it is about the first gift of Christmas.  And what is that you might be thinking.  It is  a child; our Lord Jesus Christ.

Children are gifts from above.  I truly believe that.  We never know how long those gifts will stay with us on earth, so we need to treasure them every minute; never knowing when they might not be with us anymore.

My Christmas wish, magic, or miracle for this year, came early.  I have prayed for my daughter to find happiness; to smile again; to laugh, and just to enjoy her life.  I look at all the wonderful miracles God has given me over the years and now it’s her time.  Talking with her yesterday, her voice was smiling; the happiness came bounding through the phone, and she was laughing.  “Mom, I have never been more happy, than I am now.  Thank you for helping me get to where I am and for believing in me.”  The tears flowed from my smiling eyes.  I thanked God, over and over.  The joy in my heart is more than I can express.  So… I’m good.  I have all I want and appreciate the little I have, because my daughter sees life through a much happier lens:)

So, if you’re skeptical  and you don’t quite believe, then open your eyes.  The Christmas magic is all around you.  You just have to believe that anything  is possible!!

Blessings to all of you this Christmas Season!

Kimberly Rae