It’s a Guy Thing?

To all my followers and blogging friends out there, I find myself in a bit of a quandary.  Not sure quandary is the right word, but it works for now.

I have put myself back out into dating world.  Not that I’m out there looking, I just know I’m ready if someone should find me:)  What I am finding is that only older men are attracted to me.  Men too old for me.  All very nice and I have enjoyed conversing with them, but then they want more and well, I don’t.  There just isn’t anything there.  If they just wanted to be friends, I would be fine with that.  There has to be a spark; something that warrants more interest or pursuit.

So last weekend as I was hiking with a group I go with, the older man of the group of course attaches himself to me.  He stays by me the entire 9 miles in the canyon.  We had a great conversation, I enjoyed his company, but that is as far as it goes for me. He continued to hit on me even after the hike and has invited me on a few others through the meet-up group.  So now I have signed up for a big hike this Sunday and he is now going.  I am not comfortable.  I feel like I have to avoid what I want to do because he isn’t giving up on me.  I don’t want to hurt his feelings.  What do I do????

Now, on the other hand I managed to talk with a few other men, more my age (and who I wouldn’t mind getting to know.) As we hiked along the rugged trail, I found  out they had girlfriends and other things about them that led to some great conversation.    So I asked them why their girlfriends were not out here with them.  They said this wasn’t their thing.  I responded with “Yeah, but it’s your thing and something you like to do all the time. Doesn’t that get in the way of your relationship?”  They replied with, “We have to make it work, or else we will be alone.”  Then they asked me where my significant other was, I told them he hadn’t found me yet.  LOL.  I said I wasn’t going to settle.  That who ever I find or who finds me will have to enjoy the outdoors as much as me. This is where I spend a good deal of my time. Am I wrong in my thinking here?   They asked me if I liked being alone.  I chuckled as I responded, “I’m not alone. and you wouldn’t be either.”  Why don’t they see this?  These are intelligent men I am talking to here.  Do they really think they need a woman to complete them?  To me that is a form of insecurity.  Again, CONFUSED!

So, is this just a guy thing It seems to me that guys settle because they don’t know how to be on their own.  I am not including all men in that assumption, but the ones I’ve met seem to follow it.  Why is that?  I don’t understand.  I agree you have to work on any relationship, but make it work?  NO.  If you have to make something work, that’s like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.  It isn’t going to happen unless you shave off some of the corners and push it through.  Then what do you have?  A lost identity. It wasn’t the right fit to begin with.  I would rather be where I am at now, knowing who I am and enjoying my life, than not sure who I am and settling for someone who is just OK.

I want to naturally fit with someone.  I had it once.  I hope I can find it again.  God has someone for me.   I am being very patient and enjoying the journey:)

Any feedback or suggestions welcome!!

Keep hiking to the top!!

Kimberly Rae

hiking supes

Fishy, Fishy, in the Sea…

blog page photo

When it comes to dating, I’ve had one foot in the water and the other just kind of dangling on the outside; signifying that I wasn’t quite ready to put myself out there.   I like my life.  I am not unhappy, but I miss sharing it with someone.  I have set my boundaries, I know what I don’t want, and I know what is important to me. My psyche is giving me the green light.

There are many fish in the sea, so they say. LOL.  Yes, but there are so many kinds of little fishies.  Where do I start?  Do I want to be on the end of a hook, dangling in the vast water that can get a little murky at times?  Oh, they can see me clearly, I’m just now sure about them.

As I entertained the online world of dating, I had a few bites; Afterburnner10, DrunkenEddie57, and Freeagent48; to name a few.  But sadly,  I had to throw them back.  I began to wonder, is there something wrong with my profile?  Am I exuding “loose woman,”  “drunk and disorderly,”  or “I’ll take someone’s left overs?”  I think not.  So… What am I doing wrong as I’m staring at picture of a man who has so many tattoos I’m not sure where his clothes begin and end.  Now mind you, I have nothing against tats, but there is a limit.  So as I sit perched on my hook, quite nicely, I might add:) I’m just not feeling it.  I don’t see any fishies that have made my colorful scales light up.  I guess I’m not good fish bait.  So out of the water I come; back on dry land.   Let’s just say, my online experience was not what I had hoped.

I decided I was  going to just live my life, like I always do and someone will just come along when I least expect it.  RIGHT?  Well, someone did, for a short time.  We met by accident. (the best way:)  He loved being with me, talking to me, working out with me, and just hanging.  I liked it too.  UNTIL… He found out my age.  That nasty number that just seems to get in my way.  He couldn’t see me anymore. I was too old for him.  “But wait,” I am still the same person I was yesterday, why does that number change anything?  Sadly, I had to say goodbye to him too.  Or I should say, he lost a da** good fish.  LOL

My batting average is a little weak,  or my casting, if we are going to continue on the fish theme. but hey, at least I’m out there.  Someone is bound to find me.  It will be the right one.  The one who excepts me for me and doesn’t mind the amount of those 2 digits that have been attached to me since birth.  My healthy mind says I’m 35.  Who cares what the chronological number is.  It’s all in how you feel!!!  And I’m feeling really good!!

I am not going to peel off any of my scales or have any of them lifted.  This is who I am on dry land or on a hook; take it or leave it:)  I like who I am!!

So if you are out there in the same sea as me, don’t be discouraged.  Be positive and like who you are and they will find you:)  Feel free to share any of your dating experiences.  I hope you could laugh at mine.  I sure did:)

Keep hiking to the top!

Kimberly Rae