A Recipe for Life

Is there a cookbook for life, for parenting, for relationships for tomorrow even??????  Some days I wish there was.  There are just not answers for all  that comes at us.  We have to figure it out ourselves; with God’s help of course:)

I am sitting here in my office, although  I’m not sure I can call it that anymore since my daughter has moved in with me.  The bed has taken over and my desk and chair space have gone to some other office that I am not privy to use.  I haven’t written in a month.  Well, I have written, just on paper.  I haven’t been able to get to my computer.  She has temporarily  come out of the space she calls her cocoon, thank God she has emerged.  SHE IS ALIVE!

So I am in here frantically writing while I have my computer back for a short time anyway.  Life is hard, I know it is, but when your children are suffering you want to help; you want to console them.  I have felt her pain and ache for her.  Her relationship has ended due to dishonesty and cheating.  She now understands what I went through and has apologized to me for her impatience while I was getting over the man I loved.  “It’s going to take time” I tell her, but she has to get up everyday, and make some attempt at living.  We are so opposite in that area.  I have always picked up the pieces and kept moving, slowly at times but moving.  I was excited today, when I saw the door open and a body make a presence in the living room.

My strength, has always been from God.  She doesn’t have him; she doesn’t believe or have faith in anything.  I pray for her everyday.  I don’t know what happened to her to lose her faith.  (prayers welcome here:)

I went to two funerals this week; celebrating their lives of course but sad to see them go.  The friends and family in attendance abounded.  Not that I was surprised by the many who came to remember them.  They were both amazing people and children of God.  I started thinking that maybe I wasn’t doing enough to help others.  I always thought I have touched lives in some way.  I have always put myself last and taken care of others.  So now during the past two years that I have taken time for myself, I seem to be losing friends.  I haven’t neglected others but I have taken back some of that time to work on myself.  Is that a bad thing?  I didn’t think so.  I have one true friend and many acquaintances.  I have to ask myself, is there something wrong with me?  I like who I am.  If they don’t like the new strong, self assured Kim, then I guess they can go on their way.  I’m not perfect. But I smile at those I don’t know.  I walk with a positive attitude, and do my best to walk in God’s light.  I guess if Jesus was persecuted and still stood strong, so can I:)  I know He’s got my back:)
So… there isn’t a cookbook for life.  We just have to make our own recipe’s. Because, the ones we create ourselves are usually the best anyway, right?

Tomorrow’s is, a whole lot of smiles and bunches of positive, and God’s grace all around:)
What’s your recipe?

Keep hiking to the top,

 

Kimberly Rae

 

 

Advertisements

The Why of it All

I am driving home from work, trying hard  not to  let the tears roll down my face.  I think a few slipped.  I feel the dampness on my neck.   WHY, WHY, WHY, God?  Why do I have to lose out? When he’s the one who hurt me and continued to do so inadvertently through the other woman.  Why do I have to  miss two of my friends retirement parties because he will be there?   I’ve known them longer than he.  Just because he works with them now, I have worked with them for many more years.  I want to share in this new beginning with them.  Sounds pretty 5th gradish doesn’t it?  I guess I’m just hurt.  And why?

As a christian, I know God took him out of my life for a reason.  And I understand that part.  I’m not saying it was easy at first, but it all makes perfect sense now.  I won’t play the victim card, because I don’t like it, but I look at all of this and I don’t understand why I have lost people in my life when I’m not the one who did anything wrong.  So backing down and not attending makes me the bigger person?  A person I consider a good friend (at least I hope he still is)  said to me, “Kim, life isn’t always fair and you just have to accept that.”  I know he’s right.  I know God doesn’t always show us the why.  I still feel cheated in a way.  It may become clear as time goes on.  As much as I think his life is great; it probably isn’t.  If I think about it, I really haven’t been cheated.  I’ve been given the gift of knowing who I am.  So… I may not have as many friends anymore, or that special someone  in my life, but I know, I have not lied, cheated, or hurt anyone for my gain.  I am a good person and God has my back:)

I have to let it go.  I will do something separately with these friends of mine and share with them that way.   I always feel better after I write.

It’s Good Friday.  Jesus died on the cross for my sins.   I have so much to be thankful for.

I took a stumble today, but I’m still climbing:)

Thanks for letting me vent:)

Keep hiking to the top!

Happy Easter!

Kimberly Rae

 

9578_10151526738347384_1589932247_n