Tag: look at your life

Don’t Cage the Butterfly

On By Kimberly Rae Gerodimos/MarxIn Life's journeyLeave a comment

The beautiful black and orange Monarch flutters by as I freely hike into the unknown.  He seems to be watching over me. Or maybe he’s enjoying the path I chose to take today.  He’s free to come and go as he likes.  I look at my life synonymous to the butterfly.  We all transform throughout our life.  We grow and become different people.  Some more colorful than others, but all out there trying to live their life they way they feel is best.  No one can take that away from them unless…  A little boy sees that beautiful butterfly flying around touching the reds, golds, and greens of the garden, cups his hands around the orange and black and puts the beauty in a jar to admire and watch.  Sadly his freedom is now taken away.  He can only flutter within the confines of the glass jar he was placed in; not by choice.

I find myself in that glass jar today and for a while maybe.   My freedom to roam the many trails just waiting for my footprints are no longer.  I’m trapped in the jar, looking out at all I am missing.  I have air holes.  I can breathe in the fresh air, but I can’t walk in it.  My fragile vertebrae, like the butterfly’s, have fused together.  As I sit here at my computer, the pain ripples up my spine.  My years of adventure and exploring have caught up to me.  The trails will not feel the life I bring, this year.  What are my options?  I feel as if my wings are about to fall off.  I can’t flutter anymore.  I have to look at my life through a different lens.  I won’t let the little boy keep me caged.  I will find a way to be on the trails again, to kayak down a river, to explore the unknown.  This butterfly has a lot more life to live.

My color will flourish.  I will shine again.  The lid will come off and I will fly.  The mountains will feel my footsteps again.

Keep hiking to the top!

Kimberly Rae

 

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What Inspires You?

On By Kimberly Rae Gerodimos/MarxIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

An inspiration can come from a person, a quote, a movie, a book; the list goes on.  The littlest thing can inspire us.  It doesn’t even have to have words.  A picture can inspire me.

Who inspires you?  What inspires you?  Or are you in search of some inspiration; of any kind?

Inspiration should make us think about where we are, who we are, and how to reach the top.  We want that firecracker feeling inside where anything is possible; even in our darkest moments.  When we make decisions about our life, change is about to take place. 

Many things inspire me; the word of God, certain people, poetry, or a picture that I took that just made me feel good inside. 

I know when I was deep in the throws of my pain and healing, I looked for inspiration wherever I could find it; anything to get me to take the next step.  That is when I began blogging.  My words were helping me heal as I was inspiring others to do the same. 

Think about the inspirations in your life; find them, thank them, write it down.   

I would like to share with you a few blogs that have inspired me.  I read many, but these stand out.  Take a look.  Listen to what they have to say.  Their words continue to inspire me as I keep hiking to the top! (theweatheredlife.com, candycoatedreality.com, and Godmatters.com)

I’ll see you there!

Kimberly Rae

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A picture I took on the side of the road in Colorado a few months ago.  It hangs on my wall and inspires my creativity daily. 

Are You Just Existing?

On By Kimberly Rae Gerodimos/MarxIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

I was having coffee with a new friend the other day.  She is having a difficult time this holiday season, so I just listened and let her pour her pain out; it flowed generously down the table, onto to the floor and into my heart; and you are thinking, does pain flow up?  Pain can flow any way it wants, as I’m sure most of you know. 

As the words painfully moved from her mouth, I realized, I had done and said all those same things.  And WHY?  For a moment I was mad at myself, but then knew, we all have to go through the crap to get to the other side.

I know it’s hard to believe people who say they know how you feel, especially when you’ve lost someone you loved so much, if they have never felt that pain.   If this is you now, I understand how you might feel so small and insignificant as humanly possible and how it can ache in places you never thought you had.  It is undoubtably one of the worst feelings you can have.  It does get better.  You have to keep taking those steps even as small as they might be. 

It doesn’t matter how many make-overs you’ve had, or glasses of wine with a good friend, you keep going over in your head every detail and keep asking yourself what you did wrong.  And you  say to yourself, “How could I have thought that I was that happy?”   It has taken me a generous amount of time to come to that realization.  I had to fight for his attention. When what he was seeking was the attention of other women.  But you keep hoping beyond hope that he will come to his senses and walk through your door.  But we should all know that isn’t going to happen.  But that small hope of possibility keeps you going, but only in the wrong direction. 

Stop thinking there is something wrong with you.  Don’t punish yourself for their screwed up reality.  They let go of something fantastic and that was you. 

After all of that, you will meet new people, find your soul again, and even maybe, hopefully, find YOU!

As wonderful as my  life is now, I do long for those words, “I LOVE YOU” from a man who can unconditionally love me.  The opportunity will present itself one day.  I know God is looking out for me.  Until then, I continue to be happy with my life. 

Don’t let that mountain in front of you keep you from hiking to the top.  It isn’t as daunting as you think.  

Don’t just exist. Celebrate being alive.  You have a life to start living.  I sure am living  mine:)

Keep moving forward,

Kimberly Rae

A New Perspective

On By Kimberly Rae Gerodimos/MarxIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

If you watch T.V. at all I’m sure you have noticed the barrage of Christmas stories, tales, and the like.  I myself choose to partake in watching those stories.  Some make you laugh but most make you cry.  As I find myself in a better place this Christmas season, I see life through a different lens.   The same stories I watched last year have a different meaning than they did before.  I have noticed that my faith is overflowing and how thankful I am for everything in my life; not that I wasn’t last year.  God just had a lot more to show me to get where I am now.

I thought that I had lost so much after my relationship ended, but really I had gained so much from it.  I needed to look at it from that perspective and God showed me how.  The how involved some hurt and more pain as I realized or became more aware of the situations I was faced with.  There was that small part of me that kept holding on to what, I’m not sure; a memory, the thought of what could have or should have been, the exceptional moments we shared; maybe all of these.

But the good Lord revealed to me a few weeks ago who this man has become.  I was saddened.   But it did allow me to let go of that last little piece.  So many of us are holding on to that piece and we don’t realize how it is keeping us from moving on.  As soon as I let go, I felt like the white dove after the cage door opens and he flies away.  It was such a freeing experience.

As I watch those Christmas stories, as sappy as some of them are:) It reminds me that Christmas is about caring, giving of yourself, and of Family.  I love this time of year.  And with my strengthened faith I know that I have to worry about nothing.  God is taking care of me. And what he puts in front of me is part of his plan.

I have no ill feelings for anyone from my past.  I keep them in my prayers and wish only the best for them.  The experiences I shared with them will always be a part of who I am.

One of the best parts that I was fortunate to keep, was the big, lovable, Garfield looking Cat.  He loves me, takes care of me, and lays at my side when I need comforting.  What a blessing that animal has been.

Let us all try to take in this holiday season with a new perspective and find joy in what we have.  Sometimes we just need to open our eyes!!

May this holiday season bring joy and peace into your life.

As always, keep moving forward,

Kimberly Rae

 

My lovable boy!

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The Water Hasn’t Boiled yet! Or Has It? It’s Never Too Late!

On By Kimberly Rae Gerodimos/MarxIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Did you know that if you put a frog in boiling water he will hop right out and be just fine.  But if you put the same frog in cool water and then gradually increase the temperature he won’t perceive the danger it is in until it’s too late and then the poor fool will boil to his death.

I found this fact to be quite interesting and immediately applied it to life. Some of us just know right away when to hop out. But how many of us start out in a relationship and begin ignoring those red flags?  We gradually start to fit into the relationship by compromising who we are and what we belive to satisfy and impress the other person. We do not realize that the water is getting kind of warm.  We have begun to shove those red flags or the hot water spots under the rug because if we admit now that this probably isn’t a good situation, in our minds we have failed again.  If we continue to stay and justify why we are with that person then we slowly begin to die inside; all for the sake of not failing or being without someone.  Why do we see it as a failure?  To be able to say to yourself, this person just isn’t what I really want in my life, is a very healthy way of thinking.  But how many of us do that?  If we are lucky enough to get out before the darkness befalls us, we look back and say, “What was I thinking?  Why did I stay for so long?”  How many of you have said that one?  I certainly have.

As many of us have heard over an over, “you don’t always see what you’re in until your out.”  I agree somewhat, but really, if you think about it, you knew.  And if you’re in it now, you know.  You just couldn’t or can’t admit it to yourself.  “What will I be without him/her?”  “How will I survive without them?”  You will be fine –It is taking that first leap out of the water before it begins to boil; the hardest step you will take.  If you have been there, you know.

Why do we fee like we need to have someone in our life to define who we are?  I’m fine with just me.  I have my friends and family and the many projects I surround myself with.  I’m not saying I don’t miss someone holding me now and then.  I know that special someone will come along when the time is right.  They will for you too.  Be happy with where and who you are.  If you aren’t, take the leap now before the water starts to boil:)

May we all live happily ever after – well mostly, which is all you can really expect out of life:) So… are you going to stay the frog or turn into a prince or princess? Your life is what you make of it!

Keep moving forward,

Kimberly Rae

Change it Up!

On By Kimberly Rae Gerodimos/MarxIn Uncategorized3 Comments

“The one good thing about failure is that it makes you consider doing things a different way.” ~ Marianne Williamson~

When I read this quote by Marianne, I could relate to it.  But I didn’t  care for the word failure.  I looked back at some of the things I had done that  I would have called mistakes.  To call them failures would make me feel as if I did it all wrong; I was stupid, dumb, and unintelligent for a moment.  We all make mistakes, but are they failures?

You hear parents call their children failures.  Husbands, wives scream it at each other.  “You’re a FAILURE!”   How degrading and demeaning that sounds.

So why do we use the word?  “I failed my test.”, “I failed at my job.”, “I failed at life.”   How depressing and self-defeating.  As a teacher, I never use the word fail.  A child only needs to hear that once before he/she feels like they can’t do it.  How about, “you made a few mistakes on your test; let’s see if we can figure out why?”  Or, “My job is giving me some trouble, maybe I should ask for help.”

And then when it comes to life, the old adages pile up – “I really screwed up”, ” I really messed up this relationship.”, and the best one, “Can I start over? I didn’t quite get it the first time around.”

So we don’t always do it right the first time.  The hope is that we learn from that and do things a different way the next time.  Learning from our mistakes, (Not failures) is how I like to look at it.  I know for some of us, it takes more than a few times to get it, to start over, to learn.  I’ll be the first to admit I’ve been there:)  And not too long ago:)

So in essence, no one is a failure, some of us just take a little longer to get the picture!  As I tell my students, “We all learn things at a different pace.  Wherever you are at is okay with me.”

Take a look at your life.  Do you keep finding yourself in the same rut, same hole, or same kind of relationships?  You’re not a failure.  You just need to change it up!

Life lessons are usually the hardest to grasp and learn from.  You can do it!

Keep moving forward!

Kimberly Rae