The Red Shoes

The full moon Shone brightly as it illuminated the outdoor Gathering of her classmates from 40 years ago.

 Her anticipation of the evening to come held many surprises.  Prior to this moment she thought about nothing but the excitement of seeing old friends and classmates; reconnecting and just enjoying herself.

The thought of possibly meeting someone was a distant feeling but surfaced now and then.

She busied herself with the planning of the event not thinking of what she would wear until… A picture of red shoes appeared out of nowhere on her phone.  “My Cinderella shoes,” she whispered to herself. She knew these were HER glass slippers.

As she slid her smooth manicured foot into the red velvet booty, she felt magical… Her intuition led her to believe she would connect with someone this evening. When in reality, she had already made the connection… 40 years ago, 10 years ago, and a week ago . The seeds had been planted.  She just didn’t know it.

As she walked onto the moonlit patio, her eyes roamed. There he was, the man she had been casually speaking with the week prior. Their eyes met briefly. She felt drawn to him. But kept her distance. She made casual conversation as she mingled around… but the red shoes kept moving her in his direction. The overwhelming desire to just talk and talk with him was intense… but the jagged edges of betrayal left a very deep scar. She was afraid. God  was answering her prayer, and pointing her in the right direction, but her fears took over. She left that evening hugging him goodbye and wishing him well. 

She went back to her room, took off the red shoes and knelt down and prayed. She prayed for guidance. She prayed for God to take away her fears because if he was the one she didn’t want to lose him.   

…And she didn’t 

Yes, this is me. This all began back in October of this year. I’m writing this because I have been blogging for over five years, when my past relationship ended. The scars that it left were very deep. I always wondered and prayed if I would ever meet someone that I could share my life with… not settle for…but with a man I  was so in sync with and connected to,  that we just fit.  

I waited for over five years for God to answer my prayer. I always had faith that he had that someone special for me and he would appear when I least expected it. I needed that time to grow and find myself; to become confident in the woman I am today so that I could receive the person that God had for me. I’m so thankful that I waited and that I continued to have faith and just let God lead us to each other.  And now… I couldn’t be happier. I’m so thankful and so blessed to have this wonderful man in my life.  

It does happen, you just have to believe and have faith😊

Thank you Lord for giving me my grown-up Christmas wish 😉 😉
Merry Christmas to all of you. Don’t ever give up believing 🙂

Kimberly Rae

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Patience!!

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“Things come to us not when we want them, but when we are ready.”

Patience is a virtue…so they say.   I’m not sure that was passed down through my genetic makeup.  Oh, I suppose there is some swishing around in there somewhere.  It does come out now and then.  But today… it has taken a holiday, and I’m not sure when it’s returning.

I do my best each morning to wake up with a grateful heart, a smile on my face, and the motivation to make it a great day!!!  But today, and maybe a little yesterday… It seems to have escaped me.  I seem to be standing at a huge fork in the road.  My journey has stalled; taken a rest… I don’t know, but I’m stuck; frozen at a point in my life where I should be confident and moving forward.

My summer took me to places I didn’t think I would ever see.   I climbed the highest peak in Oahu.  I swam in the bluest water you have ever seen.  I tasted food beyond my wildest imagination… I was living and loving my life.  But…as wonderful as my trips were… I didn’t have anyone to share it with.  I wanted to be sitting on Sunset beach with that special person in my life.  I wanted to laugh and discover with them.  I wanted someone’s shoulder to lean on, on the long flight home.   After 5 years of being single, is God saying I am still not ready?? Does Karma really exist?  I keep asking myself if I have done something not to deserve a good man in my life.  I keep asking God, what else am I supposed to learn?

I’ve grown to love myself and to be happy with just me.  The scar I wear proudly from my last relationship… remains just that… a Scar.  It has healed over and I have moved forward.  I’m ready!!! So I think.

So what else God??  Are you still trying to teach me about patience?  I know I’ve stumbled a bit over the past 5 years, but I’m still here; wishing and wanting to share my life with the person you have waiting for me; or maybe there isn’t someone.  Maybe I am just supposed to embrace being single and that’s how it’s going to be.

So give me that little nudge. Push me in the right direction.  You may need to hold my hand at first, but I’ll keep moving forward, because I have never lost my faith in YOU.

As always… Keep hiking to the top!!!

Kimberly Rae

 

 

 

 

The Handkerchief

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The handkerchief symbolizes a time that no longer exists. A simpler time. A time where commitment was just natural. A period of time when you worked things out, when you communicated, when you were there for each other.  A time, when the tears began to flow, that special person would hand you their handkerchief to blot your eyes from the tears that would not stop streaming down your face. It represented compassion and caring and “I’m here for you.”

Something as simple as a handkerchief could say so much…  as in,  “I LOVE YOU”

Where is the handkerchief today??

I don’t want the text or the email. I want the hand attached to the handkerchief, looking at me face to face wiping my tears if need be, and reassuring me it’s going to be alright. I want to see the compassion, the love and the caring in someone’s eyes, not  words in an email; they have no voice.

Bring back the handkerchief because the world is becoming a lonely place without it 🙂

Living life!!

Kimberly Rae

Single… Why????

Why are so many of us still single? It doesn’t matter how old we are, how many times you have been married, we are single right now in this moment.  In my experience,  from people I have known and what has been done to me… I feel that people are not able to commit fully to one human being. They seem to have one foot in the relationship and one foot out. Because you know just maybe there could be somebody that might come along that appears to have greener grass than what you have in front of you. Really?? How about watering the grass that’s right in front of you.  how about nurturing that so that it can become all you  wanted it to be or could even imagine. When you can’t fully commit or work on the relationship that you’re in, then really is it going to go anywhere? I say no, it will eventually fizzle out.  one of you will end up cheating on the other, I know that all too well. I think it’s hard to find 2 people fully committed in a relationship. One usually is and the other is kinda halfway there,  as the other foot is dangling outside of the relationship.

Relationships take work. Whether you’re married or not, you are in a relationship with someone. You don’t have to be living with them but if you are dating and if you’ve dated for quite a while you are in a committed relationship. Sneaking around talking to other women on an intimate level is not being fully committed. If you can’t be that with the person you are with… then stop and think… reflect. am I in the right relationship?  How do I really feel about this person?   Or, what can I do to make this better?  I see so many relationships just thrown away because one or both people don’t want to take the time to work on it, to talk,  communicate.

I realize when you have been married to someone for a very long time or just even in a relationship with someone for a very long time, things can get stagnant. You get into a routine you do the same things all the time… that is when you need to change things up. You have to be able to recognize when your relationship is in that place. So change it up, go eat somewhere different, take a weekend road trip, do something you haven’t done in a long time.  think about what you did when you first met.  what made you happy, what was exciting. Bring more passion back into the bedroom. There are so many things you can do without dissolving the relationship, before you start  cheating on your partner that you supposedly still love but but yet you are looking for some other kind of excitement to keep you going. Find the excitement with the person you’re with now. And sometimes yes, relationships need to end but I still think as a society we do not put enough time and effort into the person that we are with. We let it go.  We just say, “oh there’s gotta be something better out there.”  Take the time working with what is right in front of you, because the grass is only greener where you water it. 

Don’t be the sprinkler that is watering a bunch of different plants. Be the hose that’s directly on the one in front of you,  and grow together :))

Keep hiking to the top,

Kimberly Rae

The Dance Lesson

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The twang and the electric sound of the country music hits my ears as I walked into the night club.  I was by myself, going to meet an old high school friend that invited me to come learn the West Coast Swing.  I love to dance, so it was obvious I would say yes. (God knew that)  What I didn’t know, is how much I was going to learn on this fine Saturday evening.

My friend paired me up with a male friend  of hers so I would have a partner.  As I walked on to the dance floor I assumed I would only be learning a new dance.  But God knew, there was a part of my past that I had not settled with.  I  loosely took his hand, the music started I was in my element and I felt great!!  As he spun me around…. There she was.  The woman who so cunningly did her best to lure my past relationship away from me.  The woman I knew, who I entertained in my home.  A woman who played the game; took him for a while and then spit him back out.  The woman who aided and abetted in breaking my heart into so many pieces that I thought I would never be able to put them back together.  As our eyes locked, I froze. Everything stopped for that moment.  But the beat goes on, as Nancy Sinatra would say.  And so did I:)

Being that I am not a vengeful person, I never said anything to her 3 and half years ago, I just let it go.  I said plenty to him, but that is another story:)  And then I think, maybe I should have.  But as I looked at her and watched her through the evening, I knew that I was so much better off.  My life was rich in love, joy, peace….   I can wake up every morning with a smile, that is genuine.  I’m happy with me:)

This dance lesson helped me put so many things into perspective.  I realized I do not want to have the love I had for him with anyone else.  I fell so deep in love with him, that I lost who I was which made the hurt even more painful.  I will love again. I didn’t let it destroy me.

God has his ways of reaching us and helping us to the next step so we are open to more of his blessings.  I had a very enjoyable evening.  I met new people, and danced with a kick in my step knowing, I am on the right path.

I leave you with some words of wisdom from someone who has lived it:)

“Memories are good. But sometimes a memory is so powerful that we get stuck in it… frozen in a minute.” ~KG~

Keep Hiking to the Top,

Faith in What’s to Come

They say they built the train tracks between the Alps and Venice before there was a train to use them.  They just knew that it would come…

I hiked to the top of a very steep trail just to find ladybugs that inhabit the area.  As I reached the top, I was looking at a wide open field with tall grasses and flowering weeds… beautiful in their own right. But I couldn’t find a one. Not one lady bug.  The beauty in front of me was astounding.  I laid down and looked up at the puffy white clouds that seemed to move their way around the sun.  I closed my eyes and took it all in.  My mind free to flow and think.  When I opened my eyes, there were lady bugs all around me.  ~When we aren’t looking, the most amazing things are attracted to us~

I am not looking.  I have spent the last 4 years getting to know me again.  I have embraced my singleness… although there is the idea of someone to share my life with.

So… I  slowly tore down the wall that  was protecting my heart. It was time.  I opened up my heart once again.  I shared intimate moments of my life.  I opened my soul and became vulnerable to his kindness.  But I soon realized, I was just his muse.  Someone to fill a void in a seemingly happy life. (so he says)   And so the wall goes back up again… this time it is made of brick. It will soften in time:)  So I continue to live my life and wait… patiently, for the right one.  When he enters my path – I’ll know.  I’ll just know… he’s the one.

All I want is to be someone’s SOMEONE… Their only SOMEONE:)  Not just a fleeting moment in someone else’s existence. I am worth more than that.

I know my day will come. The train may not be here yet, But I have FAITH… it will come:)

As always,  Keep hiking to the top!

Kimberly Rae

A Love So True

It is officially November, Halloween has come and gone, my uncarved pumpkins remain outside my door to remind me that it is Fall, and the Christmas movies have begun to show up on the various channels that engulf our T.V’s.  And yes…  I am still single.  I am not saying that as if it is a bad thing.  I thoroughly enjoy my life and am very happy.  But there is still the idea of a man; someone to share my already happy life with:)

So many people have asked me, “What are you looking for?”  “What do you want?”

I always thought I knew exactly what I wanted in a relationship, but after talking with a long-lost friend from college, I have reassessed my wants.  I don’t like using the word “wants”   It’s more like a feeling.  It is the way I perceive love.  Some may say I am a hopeless romantic, (I am)  and my take on love is only in fairy tales.  But, I do not agree.

My take on a TRUE LOVE:

I want love, not the comfortable, safe kind.  I want extraordinary, passionate, everything is in sync love.  Where their touch electrifies my soul. When he touches my hand, my whole body quivers. Where the simplest of gestures bring a smile to my face.  When what I want most in the world, (and this is it,) adds to my happiness.  Love isn’t a fairy tale if it’s TRUE.  

So, I will keep praying,and  keep the faith, that God has someone like this for me.  I know he is out there.  He just hasn’t found me yet:)

My words of wisdom for today:  Hold out for what you truly want in life.  Don’t settle.  Love yourself first, so you can give that true love to someone else:)

Be happy in life!!

Keep hiking to the top!

Kimberly Rae