Thank You 2013!!!

The ornaments slowly come off the tree, one by one, as they are individually wrapped, each holding its own memory from Christmas’s past.  I wrap them even more carefully as they will be snug in their box for a few years; they will not be hanging on any tree.

2013 has been a year to remember.  A year of growth and adventures.  A year of loss and lessons learned.  A year of  letting go of things and people who only God can take care of.  As we are the architects of our own life, I choose to keep building mine.

When I started this blog, I was barely able to see the light of day, to take the next step, to get out of bed, to smile.   The torment and the harassment over the past few years has only strengthened me and my faith in the Lord.  Instead of retaliating I wrote.  I didn’t share half of what I had been through, but I did share the lessons I had learned from it all and hopefully reaching some of you.  Life isn’t about revenge or getting back.  It’s about giving, loving, and forgiving.  I’m not saying it didn’t hurt, but I didn’t let it break my building down.  The one I so lovingly had begun to rebuild.

God has shown me many small miracles this past year.  I live in the moment and cherish my time that He has given me.  I volunteer, I shine my light and try to light up a sad face when I can.  My students always brighten up my day.  And here I was a little afraid to teach those little 2nd graders.  But God knew it was what I needed.  I have learned so much from that experience.

All of this has brought me to this place; to my new adventure.  All my belongings will be packed away.  I will be going to another country to teach.  As I continue to build my life, I have decided this is the best way to exit my career as a teacher in the public school system.  After 29 years in the classroom, I know I have touched many lives.  I want to take my experience and love for children to another place.  I want to make a difference somewhere else.  I know I will learn and grow from this new adventure.  God has so wonderfully put me on this path.  He has given me the confidence, strength, and courage to build my life even higher.

As much as I have learned this past year, the most important, is my total faith in the Lord.  I don’t fear anything.  I live my life to the fullest and smile on all those who have come and gone in my life.

May you reach out, reach high and go for it.  2014 will be an awesome year!!!

Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.”

Happy New year!!

As always, Keep hiking to the top!!

Kimberly Rae

 

Bullet Proof

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I just returned from my 4 mile run; music in my ears and at least 5-6 dances choreographed in my head during that time.  The curve ball came at me again today.  Not that I let it hit me.  It grazed me a bit, but I’m still trying to wrap my head around it, not literally of course:)

I have taught for almost 30 years and had planned on retiring after next year.  I have it all planned out, it’s in my head; I’m done.  I’ll miss the teaching part of it all, but not the politics that go with it.  Teaching has changed so much over the last 30 years.

 

Sadly my ex husband gets a portion of my retirement even though he only worked 2 years out of the 10 we were married.  I know, it’s usually the man who gets screwed, so they say.  If he truly deserved it, then I wouldn’t be so indifferent about it.  I worked hard for the money I put in there.  I got my masters as a single parent without any help from him and moved forward with my career just so he could get more money from me?  What’s wrong with this picture?   Well, I can’t live off of what would be left if he gets a percentage of my benefits every month.  So… I worked out a 2 year plan where I would give him a lump sum plus some interest and then I would be able to live off of my monthly benefits.  He agreed.  I was having paper work drawn up to put it all in writing, make it legal and then I was hit or grazed by his backing out of my proposal.    He actually used my daughter to convey his message to me.  What a coward.  Okay, a little cynical there, I know.  I’m trying to be nice here.

This means I cannot retire.  At first,  I cried.  I was mad, angry, and life isn’t fair and all of that.  But as I was running, I decided  I will go to him with another plan.  What I don’t understand is he is in bad health.  If I don’t retire then he doesn’t get any money until I do.  So why not take it now; in a lump sum while he has time to spend it? But all of his “buddies” are telling him that I’m screwing him.  REALLY??? Hmmmmmm.  He doesn’t work and is on disability.  So we are all paying for him one way or another.  His disability is due to his careless way of living.  He is the father of my children and I do not wish any harm on him.  I don’t want my children losing their father at such a young age. I have always treated him fair.  I’ve visited him on many of his hospital stays, I’ve taken care of his house; I’m just too nice.  I thought he would work with me. I guess I underestimated him.  He hasn’t really changed in 25 years.  I’m not giving up yet.

I have prayed about It.  And really, at this point it’s in God‘s hands.  It will work out the way God has it planned.  I don’t want to spend anymore negative energy on him or the situation.  So I will give it a few days and address it again.  God will help me say the right thing:)

So… as the song says, “I am Titanium, I am bullet Proof.”

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I look out my office window and there is my bird.  Singing to me during a troubled moment.  The same bird that sang to me 2 years ago when that whopper of a curve ball hit me square between the eyes.  It seems to come around when things are a little rough.  It’s just about dark out.  Aren’t the birds supposed to be tucked inside their homes?  I’ve always imagined that maybe it’s my father or an angle watching over me.  But what ever he is, he followed me to my new apartment.  So sing away; I’m listening.

 

My faith in God will carry me through.  It always does!

Keep hiking to the top!

Kimberly Rae