“Things come to us not when we want them, but when we are ready.”
Patience is a virtue…so they say. I’m not sure that was passed down through my genetic makeup. Oh, I suppose there is some swishing around in there somewhere. It does come out now and then. But today… it has taken a holiday, and I’m not sure when it’s returning.
I do my best each morning to wake up with a grateful heart, a smile on my face, and the motivation to make it a great day!!! But today, and maybe a little yesterday… It seems to have escaped me. I seem to be standing at a huge fork in the road. My journey has stalled; taken a rest… I don’t know, but I’m stuck; frozen at a point in my life where I should be confident and moving forward.
My summer took me to places I didn’t think I would ever see. I climbed the highest peak in Oahu. I swam in the bluest water you have ever seen. I tasted food beyond my wildest imagination… I was living and loving my life. But…as wonderful as my trips were… I didn’t have anyone to share it with. I wanted to be sitting on Sunset beach with that special person in my life. I wanted to laugh and discover with them. I wanted someone’s shoulder to lean on, on the long flight home. After 5 years of being single, is God saying I am still not ready?? Does Karma really exist? I keep asking myself if I have done something not to deserve a good man in my life. I keep asking God, what else am I supposed to learn?
I’ve grown to love myself and to be happy with just me. The scar I wear proudly from my last relationship… remains just that… a Scar. It has healed over and I have moved forward. I’m ready!!! So I think.
So what else God?? Are you still trying to teach me about patience? I know I’ve stumbled a bit over the past 5 years, but I’m still here; wishing and wanting to share my life with the person you have waiting for me; or maybe there isn’t someone. Maybe I am just supposed to embrace being single and that’s how it’s going to be.
So give me that little nudge. Push me in the right direction. You may need to hold my hand at first, but I’ll keep moving forward, because I have never lost my faith in YOU.
As always… Keep hiking to the top!!!